I feel that if I retire today, I've done enough. I've achieved everything in comedy... I feel I don't need anything else.… — Lisa Lampanelli Comedy Copy Share Image
I gained weight, and that started a 32-year struggle with weight and exercise and body image problems. — Lisa Lampanelli Body Copy Share Image
When I say I'm going gangster, I'm working really hard at something. — Lisa Lampanelli Gangster Copy Share Image
I thought I had to work at someplace everybody's heard of. It was never, 'I'm interested in such and such. I want… — Lisa Lampanelli Job Copy Share Image
I've gone through literally over 30 years of struggle with weight and food and body image... and I'm like, 'Wait a minute.' — Lisa Lampanelli Body Copy Share Image
I'm obsessed with reality TV anyway - I use my knowledge of that stuff to make jokes on Twitter and Facebook to… — Lisa Lampanelli Fans Copy Share Image
I wasn't ready to be a dog's mother! Trust me, I'm completely unfit and irresponsible. I'm a comic that travels 48 weeks… — Lisa Lampanelli Dog Copy Share Image
Shortly after college, I was working in New York City at 'Rolling Stone' magazine. — Lisa Lampanelli City Copy Share Image
Howard Stern gave me the best advice about Twitter and the N word. He said maybe onstage people get the intention behind… — Lisa Lampanelli Advice Copy Share Image
I was 25 myself once. I also thought I knew everything. I also thought that I could give singers singing advice and… — Lisa Lampanelli Age Copy Share Image
What we do as comics can be a service to people. It can make them laugh and take their mind off their… — Lisa Lampanelli Laugh Copy Share Image
I have rage and anger issues. So I get mad about stuff in real life, and then I yell about it onstage,… — Lisa Lampanelli Anger Copy Share Image
When I decided to do 'The Celebrity Apprentice,' there was absolutely no question that I would play the game for GMHC. — Lisa Lampanelli Celebrity Copy Share Image
I usually get so warned when I go to Detroit, like, 'Oh my God, don't go to this section, don't go to… — Lisa Lampanelli Fun Copy Share Image
Larry the Cable Guy has everything: sleeveless shirts, stupid catchphrases. He's Mr. T without the acting chops. — Lisa Lampanelli Acting Copy Share Image
People with HIV and AIDS are nothing to be afraid of. They are people just like every single one of us, and… — Lisa Lampanelli Learn Copy Share Image
I always order soup, dessert, and a sandwich or whatever main course. But then the idea is you have to eat such… — Lisa Lampanelli Dessert Copy Share Image
I think people were just seriously happy to find a funny woman who does comedy like a man. Because I learned how… — Lisa Lampanelli Comedy Copy Share Image
