Best Justin Halpern Quotes
- On My Last-Place Finish in the 50-Yard Dash During Little League Tryouts “It kinda looked like you were being attacked by a bunch of bees… Attacked
- On My First Driving Lesson “First things first: A car has five gears. What is that smell?…Okay, first thing before that first thing: Farting in… Asshole
- What Im trying to say is that what makes you up, its always been around, and it always will be around. So really the only… All
- Eventually, though, I came to the conclusion that I was the male equivalent of a Toyota Camry. You know: No one ever says, "I have… Bad
- No, you can't go getting mad at people because they're shitty. Life will get mad at them, don't worry.. Get Mad
- I just want silence... Jesus, it doesn't mean I don't like you. It just means right now, I like silence more. Jesus
- My parents had irrational fears of Mexico and assumed that once you crossed the border, drug runners made you swallow a heroin balloon and then… Assumed
- Sometimes its nice when people you love need you. Love
- My dad is awesome. Awesome