“I freely admit to enjoying the attentions Women lavish on me- Although it's usually when they're taking my order” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“If life is a bowl of cherries… do you know how many virgins it took to make that…” — Josh Stern Humor Copy Share Image
“Everyone comes with baggage, make sure you get one that comes with a rack” — Josh Stern Baggage Copy Share Image
“If my body is a Temple, then The Greeks and Romans ransacked it years ago” — josh stern Body is a temple Copy Share Image
“The only way I’d ever die of a broken heart, is if I slammed into something really hard” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“I try not to take things lying down, especially rectal thermometers” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: the truly creative and the truly medicated” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“When you enter the Lions Den, it's best not to go empty-handed or you'll probably leave that way” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“An alibi is one alliterative consonant short of being a magic carpet” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“I like gross generalizations...I also like disgusting specifics!” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“I'm not saying I'm an Alcoholic, but I do have prescription shot glasses” — Josh Stern Alcoholic Copy Share Image
“It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the blame” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“If bliss are a type of potato, then ignorance can be french-fried” — josh stern Bliss Copy Share Image
“When it comes to exacting revenge, it gets harder and harder to top yourself each successive time” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Treat me like a king and I'll treat you like a queen…..Treat me like a queen and off with your head” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“Give a man a fish and you will feed him for a day, give him some horns and he can be a… — Josh Stern Fish Copy Share Image
“You're only given as much as you can handle, before going back for seconds” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“Some people are so positive, that when they slip in dog poop, they pirouette” — Josh Stern Animal Copy Share Image
“It's one thing if your hobby is to put ships inside a bottle, but a deer in the headlights!... That's a real… — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“To err is human, to accept full responsibility is to just run with it” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“There's a fine line between stuff, and if you stare at it long enough it'll drive you insane or to genius” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“The primary difference between sex and death is, with death there is no dress code” — Josh Stern Death Copy Share Image
“I've always been a poor sport and a sore loser...any other behavior might encourage a repeat performance” — Josh Stern Behavior Copy Share Image
“My greatest fault is trying to stuff the baggage of an impossible situation into the trunk of an elegant solution” — Josh Stern Baggage Copy Share Image
“the only drinking problem I've ever had, is figuring out why I'm still stuck in this salad spinner” — Josh Stern Drinking Copy Share Image
“Women are aroused by the strangest things, like a rock going through their bedroom window” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“If a picture paints a thousand words, then a naked picture paints a thousand words without any vowels…” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“Love is the canvas covering the furniture that you've become a part of” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
