Joel McHale Quotes

24 quotes in 328 categories

• Bill O'Reilly, Megyn Kelly, and Sean Hannity are the Mount Rushmore of keeping old people angry.
• It's important to have the right agent - people that are working hard for you. But an actor needs to be in control of their…
• I don't think the NFL had the slightest intention of taking me, except as maybe a water boy.
• I loved New Jersey. I thought it was the greatest place in the world because on Halloween kids could start trick or treating right after…
• Follow what your head is telling you and work hard. That's the big secret.
• If you have a dream, just lie about it. Lie your way unto your dreams.
• It's an awesome thing to be flung out onto the stage twice a weekend in front of 250 people, and you have to make it…
• Joel McHale is so money, he should be printed on money.
• My goal and my career is definitely not to be famous. That's a really horrible goal, just to be famous for the sake of having…
• Once you've been booked, people in Hollywood say, 'Oh he must be good.' All the while you're the same actor.
• Yes, I would say my comedy is grunge, evidenced by the fact my jokes have put an end to big-hair glam comedy.
• You have to have talent. You have to get the audition and then you have to nail the audition.
• In prison, inmates sometimes use Cheetos and grape juice as makeup. I wouldn't use that beauty regimen around Britney Spears - she might lick your…
• I love my job, I love the cast, and I love the crew, it's ideal. So something's going to go horribly wrong.
• I've always made fun of television shows and how ridiculous some celebrity behavior is, but I never thought my job would be commenting on it.…
• I won't do porn. Well, I won't do triple-X porn.
• I was serious about Ultimate Fighting Championship. And I'm not even ashamed to say it because I want free tickets.
• Hopefully when I do auditions I do the best I can do at the time. That's all I have control over.
• People might say it came easy for me. The fact is, I've worked hard on every role. I prepare for each audition...take the script, read…
• 'Almost Live' allowed me to take chances and try things you can't do on national television. It allowed me to screw up.

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