Joe E. Lewis Quotes

33 quotes in 340 categories

• I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.
• It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got money.
• There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.
• I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.
• A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.
• If you drink like a fish, don't drive: swim.
• I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate…
• I never went to school beyond the 3rd grade, but my mother taught me the difference between right and wrong.
• Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants on.
• Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest.
• You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to roll over and float on his back, then you got something!
• They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what…
• Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to the wrong people.
• Boys, I have been rich and I have been poor, and believe me being rich is better.
• I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.
• I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise.
• Rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for U.S. Steel.
• I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would have taken General Custer and given points.
• I met with an accident on the way to the track; I arrived safely.
• I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin.

Browse Joe E. Lewis Quotes by Category