Jimmy Fallon Quotes

121 quotes in 1726 categories

• Whenever I'm stuck in traffic, I can't help but wonder, 'Where did the creator of The Jetsons go, and why hasn't he done something about…
• Listening is more important than talking.
• God invented mankind because he loved silly stories. Ralph Steadman I like being absurd.
• When you have a baby, sleep is not an option. You can't sleep. Even on vacation, you wake up at 6:30 a.m.
• ...Being a father is the most exciting, amazing thing that ever happened to me.
• I didn't think it was going to be this fun. But everything just gets heightened when you have a baby. The volume gets turned up…
• I know what you want. And I know what you need. But I'm gonna screw it up, yeah, cause I'm an idiot. And I'm your…
• In a recent attack ad, the NRA claims that President Obama cares about his own children more than he cares about other children. In response,…
• Live your life by doing activities that are beneficial
• Anything I learned was just work hard, just keep working and don't worry about the outside stuff. Whatever happens will happen.
• There couldn't have been a better Hollywood ending for us. It's beyond baseball. It's rooting for your family.
• It's all about the script. Reality is key to me and less cutesy.
• Oh here's an idea: let's make pictures of our internal organs and give them to other people we love on Valentine's Day. That's not weird…
• Thank you 'adults who wear back packs' for letting me know that I don't have to take you seriously
• A new study found that women gain more weight after marriage, but men gain more weight after a divorce. Yeah, the divorce usually takes place…
• In Pakistan anti-American protesters set a Kentucky Fried chicken restaurant on fire. The protesters mistakenly thought they were attacking high-ranking U.S. military official Colonel Sanders.
• Leno, Conan. They are both really funny. They really know how to land one.
• Christine O'Donnell released a commercial in which she says, 'I'm not a witch.' That's pretty good, though not as effective as her opponent's slogan, 'I'm…
• President Obama is launching a new $6 billion space policy that will ultimately take astronauts to Mars. Of course, it's $6 billion and $45 if…
• This week a man was arrested for jumping over the White House fence and trying to spray paint a political message. If that guy really…

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