Jeph Jacques

“That's me- brutally honest, only instead of brutality there's smiles!”

— Jeph Jacques

What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people.

— Jeph Jacques

The trick to writer's block is to sack up and write through it, you see.

— Jeph Jacques

“What's the point of having a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?”

— Jeph Jacques

Spontaneous kindness is to hipsters as high beams are to deer.

— Jeph Jacques

A good relationship is like fireworks: loud, explosive, and liable to maim you if you hold on too long.

— Jeph Jacques

You can either hold yourself up to the unrealistic standards of others, or ignore them and concentrate on being happy with yourself…

— Jeph Jacques

'Light fuse and get away' may work for a Roman candle, but not so much for the wrath of a woman scorned.

— Jeph Jacques

The TV Tropes QC page is every single idiotic comment from my forums distilled into one HTML document.

— Jeph Jacques

“All life isn't suffering, sometimes there are parties and makeouts! And marijuana!”

— Jeph Jacques

The quickest way to a man's heart really is through his stomach, because then you don't have to chop through that pesky…

— Jeph Jacques

If only corporal punishment cured low self-esteem.

— Jeph Jacques

Bachelor's degrees make pretty good placemats if you get 'em laminated.

— Jeph Jacques

There are two ways to pass a hurdle: leaping over or plowing through... There needs to be a monster truck option.

— Jeph Jacques

You ought to expect better of people. It encourages you to be a better person yourself.

— Jeph Jacques

“Affirmative. Death-Bot 9000 would rather avoid internet drama.”

— Jeph Jacques

Your whole life people tell you to do what you love. But if you gotta do something else to pay the bills,…

— Jeph Jacques

That's what college is for - getting as many bad decisions as possible out of the way before you're forced into the…

— Jeph Jacques