Jenny Eclair Quotes

50 quotes in 633 categories

• I'm very jealous of my daughter's education. She's been inspired by her teachers, and nobody inspired me as a teenager.
• I might be needy, competitive and desperate but it's far better than being wet.
• I'm a schizophrenic mix of wannabe glamourpuss and absolute slob, and my style is very much magistrate-meets-barmaid.
• I've just got crap hair. Although I inherited a lot of stuff from my dad, including giant knees, I didn't get his good, thick hair.…
• What has happened to the good old-fashioned travel agent? I want to go to a really posh travel agent and have them organize everything for…
• I've got a hat face. My mother always said I've got a hat face
• Without fake tan I have the skin tones of a dead jellyfish.
• As a five-year-old in Berlin in 1965, I didn't know that funny women existed. It wasn't until I got back to England that I realised…
• I can't watch other people doing comedy. As soon as somebody starts being funny I have to turn off because it upsets me. I get…
• I have a fear of poverty in old age. I have this vision of myself living in a skip and eating cat food. It's because…
• If I do go to the beach there have to be certain rules: it can't be a pebbly beach, there has to be some shade…
• People often ask why comedy is harder for women, and the reason is because a tampon will sometimes fall out when you're on stage. Blokes…
• The only way to go on holiday is with your expectations at ground level. Convince yourself before you go that the weather's going to be…
• Well, I'm not good with sliminess. I hate the thought of creatures that have slime on them or creatures that leave a slimy trail. At…
• I've got this horrible feeling that I'm one of those people who'll always have to flog their guts out to get anywhere.
• I still can't set up the ironing-board. A complete Luddite.
• I think as time goes by you'll get female comics who are weirder - you'll get a female Mighty Boosh.
• I think my siblings sometimes have to defend me within their social circles - they are both barristers.
• I was trained as an actress. But I wasn't a very convincing actress, so I started doing punk poetry and then fell into doing stand-up.
• I'm very bad at having heroes. I don't rate anyone particularly highly because I'm so snide and competitive and not very nice.

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