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Portrait of Jasper Carrott

Jasper Carrott

(1945) Actor United Kingdom

23 quotes in 259 categories

Jasper Carrott is an actor from the United Kingdom, best known for Shop! Or a Store Is Born.

Quick Facts About Jasper Carrott

Born: March 14, 1945
Nationality: United Kingdom
Profession: Actor
Notable works: Shop! Or a Store Is Born

About Jasper Carrott

Robert Norman Davis, known by his stage name, Jasper Carrott, is an English comedian, writer, actor, singer and television presenter. His credits include An Audience With Jasper Carrott (1978), The Secret Policeman's Other Ball (1982), Carrott's Lib (1982-1983), Jane and the Lost City (1987), Carrott's Commercial Breakdown (1989-1996), Canned Carrott (1990-1995), The Detectives (1993-1997), All About Me (2002–2004), and Golden Balls (2007–2009).

Biography source: Wikipedia

Awards & Honors

Officer of the Order of the British Empire

Quotes by Jasper Carrott

I used to be a columnist for 'Golf Monthly' and have contributed articles for national newspapers based on the humour that is…

Abundance

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The impact of T.V. on our lives in general gets most things out of proportion.

General

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When I hit the scene, there was Billy Connolly and Max Boyce. It was all mother-in-law and Irish jokes, and we broke…

Above

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The whole debate on what food is best for us is complex, ongoing and often controlled by vested interests.

Best

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Happiness to me is simply not being unhappy.

Being unhappy

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I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will…

Amazed

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There's a rumour going 'round that if you amass a certain number of penalty points on your driving licence, the authorities will…

Again

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I want to do things I enjoy, and show business comes fifth or sixth down the line.

Business

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My driving habits are so ingrained that the driving examiner would fail me in the first mile. That's provided he hadn't died…

Attack

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I was never the class clown, and I've no idea where the comedy came from.

Came

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I just felt that 'Golden Balls' was the right thing to do. I didn't care if people thought I was a failure.

Balls

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There is no way in my right mind I would contemplate running 26 miles-plus unless it involved a chase with Pamela Anderson.

Anderson

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I have to confess here that I am a useless cook.

Am

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I should be more vocal about the things I believe are doing us harm, but many years ago in my early twenties,…

About

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Having signed a few autographs in my time, I always wonder what the heck people do with them.

Always

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I am cursed with a right leg that arouses the desire of any male dog that happens to be passing. I used…

Cursed

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I have a very happy marriage and friends who keep my feet on the ground. But looking for satisfaction in life is…

Being unhappy

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I have that working class fear of having nothing. I've always got one eye on what's in the bank.

Class

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Laughter is the best medicine - unless you're diabetic, then insulin comes pretty high on the list.

Happiness

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They put up this bloke's picture on Crimewatch UK with a phone number and said 'Have you seen this man?' Well my…

Auntie

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I have been known to play a few rounds in my time. I'm not obsessive; I don't play in the dark, but…

Also

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I've always been sensible with my money. I can't say I'm a business genius.

Business

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I've played with some very famous bandits in my time on the celebrity golf circuit.

Celebrity

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