Class Quote by Jasper Carrott

I used to be a columnist for 'Golf Monthly' and have contributed articles for national newspapers based on the humour that is in abundance…

— Jasper Carrott

The impact of T.V. on our lives in general gets most things out of proportion.

— Jasper Carrott

When I hit the scene, there was Billy Connolly and Max Boyce. It was all mother-in-law and Irish jokes, and we broke the mould.…

— Jasper Carrott

The whole debate on what food is best for us is complex, ongoing and often controlled by vested interests.

— Jasper Carrott

Happiness to me is simply not being unhappy.

— Jasper Carrott

I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin…

— Jasper Carrott

There's a rumour going 'round that if you amass a certain number of penalty points on your driving licence, the authorities will make you…

— Jasper Carrott

I want to do things I enjoy, and show business comes fifth or sixth down the line.

— Jasper Carrott

My driving habits are so ingrained that the driving examiner would fail me in the first mile. That's provided he hadn't died of a…

— Jasper Carrott

I was never the class clown, and I've no idea where the comedy came from.

— Jasper Carrott

I just felt that 'Golden Balls' was the right thing to do. I didn't care if people thought I was a failure.

— Jasper Carrott

There is no way in my right mind I would contemplate running 26 miles-plus unless it involved a chase with Pamela Anderson.

— Jasper Carrott