I used to be a columnist for 'Golf Monthly' and have contributed articles for national newspapers based on the humour that is in abundance in the game, which is more than can be said of tennis. — Jasper Carrott Copy Share Image
I am cursed with a right leg that arouses the desire of any male dog that happens to be passing. I used to think that this only happened to me but I've discovered that many people have the same problem.… — Jasper Carrott Copy Share Image
I used to be a columnist for 'Golf Monthly' and have contributed articles for national newspapers based on the humour that is in abundance… — Jasper Carrott Copy Share Image
The impact of T.V. on our lives in general gets most things out of proportion. — Jasper Carrott Copy Share Image
When I hit the scene, there was Billy Connolly and Max Boyce. It was all mother-in-law and Irish jokes, and we broke the mould.… — Jasper Carrott Copy Share Image
The whole debate on what food is best for us is complex, ongoing and often controlled by vested interests. — Jasper Carrott Copy Share Image
I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin… — Jasper Carrott Copy Share Image
There's a rumour going 'round that if you amass a certain number of penalty points on your driving licence, the authorities will make you… — Jasper Carrott Copy Share Image
I want to do things I enjoy, and show business comes fifth or sixth down the line. — Jasper Carrott Copy Share Image
My driving habits are so ingrained that the driving examiner would fail me in the first mile. That's provided he hadn't died of a… — Jasper Carrott Copy Share Image
I was never the class clown, and I've no idea where the comedy came from. — Jasper Carrott Copy Share Image
I just felt that 'Golden Balls' was the right thing to do. I didn't care if people thought I was a failure. — Jasper Carrott Copy Share Image
There is no way in my right mind I would contemplate running 26 miles-plus unless it involved a chase with Pamela Anderson. — Jasper Carrott Copy Share Image
