Best Janet Evanovich Wisdom
- When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the… Bathroom
- Sorry about Bender," Lula said, letting the Trans Am idle at the curb. "Maybe we could tell Vinnie he died. We could say we were… All
- If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert. Creamed
- He's a good man," Ranger said. "And you?" "I'm better. Better
- You owe me!" -Stephanie "Why do I owe you?" -Joe "I caught your no good cousin." -Stephanie "Yeah and in the process you burned down… Burned
- Ranger sent us to check on you," Hal said. "We just got here, and we heard shots." "Some moron ate my jelly doughnut," Lula said.… Ate
- I took the stool next to him, raising an eyebrow at the coffee and cruller on the counter. "Thought you weren't into internal pollution," I… Batman
- I want to see your tailpipe fading off into the sunset." Good luck, I thought. My tailpipe was somewhere on Route 1, along with my… Along
- I wasn't sure exactly how prostitutes determined price, but if men bought hookers by the pound, these two would be doing okay. Bought
- The way I see it, life is a jelly doughnut. You don't really know what it's about until you bite into it. And then, just… Best
- You're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious."- All
- Men are like shoes. Some fit better than others. And sometimes you go out shopping and there's nothing you like. And then, as luck would… Better
- Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart? Fart
- Bob had a dog buscuit stuck to his head. "How does he always get food stuck to him?" I asked Morelli. "I don't know," Morelli… Always Get
- Your on your on with this one babe." "Coward." "Calling me names isn't going to get me in there." -Ranger and Stephanie Babe
- My grandmother is a little Cuban woman who cooks all day and speaks Spanish. Your grandmother watches pay-per-view porn." "She used to watch the Weather… Action
- You've been busy using your breaking and entering skills," I said. "I just enter. I don't usually break." "You broke down Pitch's door." "Lost my… Been
- Howie's doctor told him to lose ten pounds, and since Howie's been on a diet he's gained three. Been
- My eyes rolled so far back in my head that I could see myself think Eye
- they have enough testosterone between them, if testosterone were electricity they could light up New York City for the month of August August
- One of the men gave Butch a bunch of volts with a stun gun. The Rangeman didn’t move fast enough, and Butch grabbed the gun… Across
- Valerie was crying, too. She was laughing and sniffling back sobs. “I’m going to marry my snuggy wuggums,” she said. Morelli paused, his fork halfway… Call
- There’s always tomorrow.” “Exactly,” she said, finishing off her first doughnut, selecting a second. Maybe she wouldn’t starve to death, she decided. Maybe she’d eat… Always Tomorrow
- Shirley's gonna be pissed," Gazarra said. "She hates when I get shot." To my recollection, the only other time Gazarra was shot was when he… Accidentally
- You're not looking for a partner," Ranger said. "You're looking for an enforcer. You hate to run. You must be worried about getting into that… Ate
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