Best Janet Evanovich Thoughts
- Lula had Eminem cranked up. He was rapping about trailer park girls and how they go round the outside, and I was wondering what the… Cheat
- Excuse me?" I said, palms down on the Formica tabletop. "Coffee? I thought we came here for pie." "I don't eat the kind of pie… Came
- Do you have someone watching her house?” (Stephanie) “That kind of surveillance only happens in the movies. We’re so underbudgeted we’re one step away from… Bake
- On the bright side, I'm sure this isn't the last time you'll ever get firebombed, so maybe you'll have better luck next time. Better
- You need teeth like mine!" Grandma said. "You can just mail 'em to the dentist! Dentist
- How was your day?" Morelli asked me. "Oh, you know, the usual. Stole a truck. Blew up a building, and brought seven monkeys home with… Asked
- I rented Ghostbusters, my all-time favorite inspirational movie. I picked up some microwave, popcorn, a KitKat, a bag of bite-sized Reese's peanut butter cups, and… All
- [Stephanie] 'You see, Mrs. Mayer was going on about George's lodge, and how he wanted to be buried with his ring, and so Grandma had… Been
- You gonna take the case?" It's not a case. It's a missing person. Sort of." You're gonna have a devil of a time finding him… Aliens
- Babe, you've destroyed a car, burned down two buildings, stapled a guy's nuts, and you have sixteen stitches in your leg. Take a night off.… Babe
- Pete- What does a woman want out of marriage? Louisa- Undying devotion and a warm place to put her cold feet when she gets into… Bed
- Wondering where Ranger was now, when I needed him. Why wasn’t he here, insisting on locking me up in a safe house? Now that my… Cage
- I don't know much about cars," Joyce said, "but I think someone took my engine. Car
- I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble. Day
- I always wanted to eat with a Negro,” Grandma said. Yeah, well I always wanted to eat with a boney- assed old white woman,” Lula… Always Wanted
- He squinted at me. "What are you wearing? Is that some new form of birth control? Birth
- Aren't you something," Grandma said. "I never saw a midget up close." "Little person," Briggs said. "And I never saw anyone as old as you… Anyone
- My father hired you to protect me," Ahmed said, "not to go off chasing men." Grandma leaned forward, keeping her eye on the Taurus. "We… Ah
- If I let her in I'm doomed. It's like inviting a vampire into your house. Once you've invite them in, that's it, you're good as… Dead
- The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled. Dang," Grandma said. "Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna… Crotch
- Grandma Mazur stood two feet back from my mother. "I gotta get me a pair if those," she said, eyeballing my shorts. "I've still got… Biker
- It was dark and raining, with bad visibility, but this was Jersey, and we don't slow down for anything. Bad
- A woman's never too old to make an idiot of herself. It goes along with equality of the sexes and potty parity. Along
- I know what you're thinking," Grandma said into the silence. "Do I have anymore bullets in this here gun? Well, with all the confusion, what… All
- I could use some help with an FTA. What's your problem? He's old, and I'll look like a loser if I shoot him. Help
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