“I kept watching Toby to see how he'd manage with those little wineglasses and his big nose, but I never managed to… — J.L. Merrow Big nose Copy Share Image
“I went and kissed him to wake him up just like Sleeping Beauty. Although I guess with me it was more like… — J.L. Merrow Beauty Copy Share Image
“Keisha frowned. “Maybe he’s hoping for hidden depths?” “I haven’t even got hidden” — J.L. Merrow Hidden Copy Share Image
“He was gasping and moaning and saying stuff like, "Oh God, oh God, oh God!" so I figured he was enjoying it.” — J.L. Merrow Gasping Copy Share Image
“I've been an idiot." "That's okay," I said. "You're still way cleverer than me".” — J.L. Merrow Idiot Copy Share Image
“I was going to buy Larry something, but he said I should spend it on something I always wanted. So I bought… — J.L. Merrow Bought Copy Share Image
“Are you sure about this? It’s a bit short.” “So? It’s poetry, not dick size.” — J.L. Merrow Poetry Copy Share Image
“As if life had gone for a ceasefire on the constant lemon bombardment, and chucked him something he actually wanted for a… — J.L. Merrow Change Copy Share Image
“ 'You must've been waiting for someone like me to come along,' I said. I meant, because of the big bed. But… — J.L. Merrow Cute Copy Share Image
“Knowing Gary, he probably caught sight of one of those thick, furry sausage things they have on the end of the ropes… — J.L. Merrow Knowing Gary Copy Share Image
“Well, that went well,” I muttered to my cock, which had optimistically jumped up when I did. All pumped up with nowhere… — J.L. Merrow M-m Copy Share Image
“I gave the wretched beast a look that said plainly I’ll deal with you later. He flicked his tail at me, cat-speak… — J.L. Merrow Bothered Copy Share Image
“A pirate once shouted ‘Avast! I’ve caught you, you seadog, at last! Best pull out your sword— I’m coming aboard! Drop your… — J.L. Merrow Caught Copy Share Image
“I got up and went and put my arms around him from behind, and I kissed his neck in the place that… — J.L. Merrow Gaze Copy Share Image
“A young man, when sliced up by glass From a footballer’s tragic mis-pass Said, ‘Hey, there’s no harm Done; it’s only an… — J.L. Merrow Young man Copy Share Image
“Oh my God, you’re right! Our third date. We should totally have sex now!” It wasn’t my fault the waiter was walking… — J.L. Merrow Laughed Copy Share Image
“It was weird, ’cause there we were in Italy listening to people singing in German. The music was nice, though, and there… — J.L. Merrow Cuteness Copy Share Image
“All right, here’s a limerick: A young martial artist called Dave Was fearless and handsome and brave He saved me from thugs… — J.L. Merrow Art Copy Share Image
“Larry said that Michelangelo was a poof, so I wondered why he’d sculpted a guy with a really tiny cock. But I… — J.L. Merrow Artist Copy Share Image
“Feeling inspired, I grabbed one of Jay’s cookbooks from the kitchen shelf and flicked through until I found a recipe for something… — J.L. Merrow Hard-tail Copy Share Image
“I spent a restless night plagued with excruciating dreams of Adam sucking me off in front of Matt, Jay and my mother.… — J.L. Merrow Dreams Copy Share Image
“Please go" he said. "Just take my money - take anything - and go" I didn't get why he wanted me to… — J.L. Merrow Money Copy Share Image
“Look, I really appreciate you bringing me here, but I think there’s something you ought to know about me.” David smiled. “If… — J.L. Merrow David Copy Share Image
“Alan:I asked him what cat we should get, and he said it was my choice, so I got this little black one… — J.L. Merrow Alan Copy Share Image
“I got zero on a maths test once," I said. "The teacher said he'd wanted to give me a minus number, but… — J.L. Merrow Computers Copy Share Image
“That’s my darling little doggie. Bubbles by name, bubbles for brains. You’ve got to love him.” — J.L. Merrow Animal Copy Share Image
“Mum always says it's really important to get three meals a day, even though she's always on a diet.” — J.L. Merrow Diet Copy Share Image
“It's sad to fall asleep. It separates people. Even when you're sleeping together, you're all alone.” — J.L. Merrow Asleep Copy Share Image
“Larry says it’s sandalwood, and it’s called that ’cause of the Latin name. They don’t make sandals out of it or nothing.” — J.L. Merrow Copy Share Image
“Lead me!” I told him fervently. “Astray is, like, my favourite place ever.” — J.L. Merrow Astray Copy Share Image
“Sod it. If he laid a finger on my David, I’d just have to use my newfound martial arts mojo and kick… — J.L. Merrow Art Copy Share Image
“Al, you're the most wonderful man I've ever been terrified by down a dark alleyway. Will you marry me?” — J.L. Merrow Terrified Copy Share Image
“I frowned. “Are you sure about this? It’s a bit short.” “So? It’s poetry, not dick size.” — J.L. Merrow Poetry Copy Share Image
“No, that’s just Saturdays.” The whisper came from an orange-belted ninja. Did that make him a ginja?” — J.L. Merrow Ninja Copy Share Image
“You never did...anything else with Ren?" I knew he wasn't talking about me painting him and stuff. "Why would I want him… — J.L. Merrow Ren Knew Copy Share Image
“He said, "Al, that's the stupidest question you've ever asked in your life," but I don't reckon it was. I bet I… — J.L. Merrow Every day Copy Share Image
“You’re a darling, Keisha. If you weren’t a girl, I’d marry you.” “If I wasn’t a girl, I’d run a bloody mile… — J.L. Merrow Next time Copy Share Image
“Alan:I used rabbit-skin glue to size the panels. I got it from the art shop. I don’t know if they use real… — J.L. Merrow Alan Copy Share Image
“His gaze kept sliding in my direction, then zipping back to Phil, as if he’d heard you should make eye contact with… — J.L. Merrow Eye contact Copy Share Image
