“Larry said that Michelangelo was a poof, so I wondered why he’d sculpted a guy with a really tiny cock. But I… — J.L. Merrow Old house Copy Share Image
“All right, here’s a limerick: A young martial artist called Dave Was fearless and handsome and brave He saved me from thugs… — J.L. Merrow Art Copy Share Image
“It was weird, ’cause there we were in Italy listening to people singing in German. The music was nice, though, and there… — J.L. Merrow Cuteness Copy Share Image
“I was worried I’d scared you off,” I said as I slid into the passenger seat. “Being too gay and all.” “No—I,… — J.L. Merrow Passenger seat Copy Share Image
“I got zero on a maths test once," I said. "The teacher said he'd wanted to give me a minus number, but… — J.L. Merrow Computers Copy Share Image
“Are you sure about this? It’s a bit short.” “So? It’s poetry, not dick size.” — J.L. Merrow Poetry Copy Share Image
“Knowing Gary, he probably caught sight of one of those thick, furry sausage things they have on the end of the ropes… — J.L. Merrow Copy Share Image
“As if life had gone for a ceasefire on the constant lemon bombardment, and chucked him something he actually wanted for a… — J.L. Merrow Change Copy Share Image
“I got up and went and put my arms around him from behind, and I kissed his neck in the place that… — J.L. Merrow Copy Share Image
“Mum always says it's really important to get three meals a day, even though she's always on a diet.” — J.L. Merrow Food Copy Share Image
“Larry says it’s sandalwood, and it’s called that ’cause of the Latin name. They don’t make sandals out of it or nothing.” — J.L. Merrow Copy Share Image
“Sod it. If he laid a finger on my David, I’d just have to use my newfound martial arts mojo and kick… — J.L. Merrow Art Copy Share Image
“He said, "Al, that's the stupidest question you've ever asked in your life," but I don't reckon it was. I bet I… — J.L. Merrow Every day Copy Share Image
“I went and kissed him to wake him up just like Sleeping Beauty. Although I guess with me it was more like… — J.L. Merrow Beauty Copy Share Image
“Al, you're the most wonderful man I've ever been terrified by down a dark alleyway. Will you marry me?” — J.L. Merrow Wonderful man Copy Share Image
“I was going to buy Larry something, but he said I should spend it on something I always wanted. So I bought… — J.L. Merrow Copy Share Image
“I got Larry to pose for me first off. It took awhile before I got any sketches done, though, ’cause every time… — J.L. Merrow Pretty good Copy Share Image
“I kept watching Toby to see how he'd manage with those little wineglasses and his big nose, but I never managed to… — J.L. Merrow Big nose Copy Share Image
“But I know when you go to old houses, the doorways are much smaller, ’cause people were shorter then, so maybe cocks… — J.L. Merrow Old house Copy Share Image
“We all walked down the street together, looking like a sort of pick-and-mix adopted family: dad, disabled mum, and two differently mixed-race… — J.L. Merrow Family Copy Share Image
“He was gasping and moaning and saying stuff like, "Oh God, oh God, oh God!" so I figured he was enjoying it.” — J.L. Merrow Oh god Copy Share Image
“You’re a darling, Keisha. If you weren’t a girl, I’d marry you.” “If I wasn’t a girl, I’d run a bloody mile… — J.L. Merrow Next time Copy Share Image
“Oh my God, you’re right! Our third date. We should totally have sex now!” It wasn’t my fault the waiter was walking… — J.L. Merrow Oh my god Copy Share Image
“Has your mother explained what a, ah, pee-dohis?” I asked cautiously. She nodded confidently. “They offer you sweeties in the park and… — J.L. Merrow Parenting Copy Share Image
“No, that’s just Saturdays.” The whisper came from an orange-belted ninja. Did that make him a ginja?” — J.L. Merrow Copy Share Image
