Greg Behrendt Quotes

78 quotes in 1012 categories

• Don’t be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You are deeply missable. However, he’s still the same person who just broke up…
• You already have one asshole, you don't need another one
• We're taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side. Not in this case. In this case, assume rejection first. Assume…
• You picked a lemon, throw it away lemonade is overrated. Freaks should remain at the circus, not in your apartment. You already have one asshole.…
• If the guy you’re dating doesn’t seem to be completely into you, or you feel the need to start ‘figuring him out,’ please consider the…
• Don’t spend your time on and give your heart to any guy who makes you wonder about anything related to his feelings for you
• A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the woman he loves
• Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with
• Alone also means available for someone outstanding.
• We (men) would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, “You’re not the one.” We are quite sure you…
• A friend of mine told a story about a date with a guy she was really excited about: He stood her up. He then called…
• He doesn’t have to love your CD collection. He doesn’t have to love your shoes. But any good, mature guy better make an attempt to…
• The quickest way to rectify that mistake (choosing the wrong person) is by learning from that, moving on, and choosing much more wisely in the…
• Because here’s what guys don’t do if they can’t live without you: They don’t break up with you.
• I'm tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships.
• First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you're married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't…
• But he was so great!' Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation
• Bored with the same type of misery over and over and over again.
• There will never be a good time, financially, to get married, unless you're Shaq or Ray Romano. But somehow people manage. If your man is…
• Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time?

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