I think my baby might be connected to Al-Qaeda the way she blows up her diapers. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When you walk through life with a dirty mind, the simplest things seem funny — Green Monk Comedy Copy Share Image
Life should come with a remote. There are so many moments I'd give up my life for to pause, fast-forward, and rewind. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Life is like sex, you can either lie back and let it screw you OR you can get on top and ride… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Why do so many new brides get crow's feet as soon as they're married? From squinting and saying, Suck what? — Green Monk Brides Copy Share Image
Behind every great woman is a man telling her she's ignoring him. Behind every great man is a puzzled woman. — Green Monk Behind every great man Copy Share Image
People don't come into your life by accident. Everyone that crosses your path serves a purpose — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Love is a complicated peice of machinery. Sometimes all you need is a good hammershot to fix it. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
If I found out I only had a week to live, and could go anywhere in the world, I think I'd go… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
If I had a $1.00 for every time my dad called me a failure…I wouldn't be a failure anymore — Green Monk Dad Copy Share Image
That dress would look awfully nice on the floor next to my bed... — Green Monk Fashion Copy Share Image
I guess when you said forever you meant until you found someone better. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
