Gail Carriger

“Well, proud Mary's fat arse!”

— Gail Carriger

Follow that porcupine!

— Gail Carriger

No one ever explained the octopuses.

— Gail Carriger

I'd rather be loyal than right.

— Gail Carriger

His lordship can eat my fat—

— Gail Carriger

“Hail to the Victorious Parasol!”

— Gail Carriger

“Oh, my giddy aunt!”

— Gail Carriger

It'll all end in tears and oil.

— Gail Carriger

Ah, Ivy, thought Alexia happily, spreading a verbal fog wherever she goes.

— Gail Carriger

Uh, my lord, I am not actually food. You do realize this, yes?

— Gail Carriger

One should do what one is best at on as large a scale as possible.

— Gail Carriger

Who doesn’t want an exploding wicker chicken?

— Gail Carriger

His eyes were jet-colored circles of perpetual disapproval.

— Gail Carriger

You are about as covert as a sledgehammer.

— Gail Carriger

“She hasn't caught a slight fatality, has she?”

— Gail Carriger

And I find perfect beauty excessively boring, don't you?

— Gail Carriger

“Can you imagine...the detrimental effect on your marriage prospects, to be found unchaperoned in a library with a dead vampire!”

— Gail Carriger

I do not giggle without purpose. Lady Linette says you should never misapply a giggle.

— Gail Carriger

It's no good choosing your first husband from a school for evil geniuses. Much too difficult to kill.

— Gail Carriger

“Just because history says it isn't possible doesn't mean that there aren't exceptions.”

— Gail Carriger

I never gossip. I observe. And then relay my observations to practically everyone.

— Gail Carriger

His eyes are peculiar. There is nothing in them, like an eclair without the cream filling. It's wrong, lack of cream.

— Gail Carriger

“It was typical of her character that she simply assumed she would, eventually, gain control over the situation.”

— Gail Carriger

Ooo,” said Alexia, fascinated, “it shrinks back down again. The books didn't detail that occurrence.” The earl laughed. “You must show me…

— Gail Carriger

“They poured out the lower doors and windows of the castle, howling to the skies. They evolved into a kind of cohesive…

— Gail Carriger

But we were talking about me and my problems." Sophronia looked Monique up and down gravely. "I don't think we're going to…

— Gail Carriger

“It had taken her a good deal of time before she believed that she was worth all that fierce affection he lavished…

— Gail Carriger

“The dirigible came to rest as lightly as a butterfly on an egg, if the butterfly were to stumble a bit and…

— Gail Carriger

Professor Braithwope, shimmering out of his room fully clothed and dapper. His mustache was a fluffy caterpillar of curiosity, perched and ready…

— Gail Carriger

I Preserve the nonviable embryo in formaldehyde for future study. Lord Maccon has been drinking my samples. When confronted, he admitted to…

— Gail Carriger

Captain Niall, having apparently resigned himself to losing his quarry, was savaging her horsehair petticoat into teeny, tiny shreds. "Really, what did…

— Gail Carriger

“Well, let me go and wake Soap." "Oh, no need to disturb him." "Course there's need. Why do you think I was…

— Gail Carriger

“a rescuer appeared out of the forest. “You screamed, madam?” “Why, Lord Mersey, what are you doing here?” “Following you, of course.…

— Gail Carriger

I miss him, my lady.” “Well, he is now living adjacent. You can hardly miss him all that much.” “True. But we…

— Gail Carriger

Goodness gracious me,” exclaimed Alexia, “what are you wearing? It looks like the unfortunate progeny of an illicit union between a pair…

— Gail Carriger

“Sophronia had no idea why Felix was so intent upon her. She had not yet received lessons in seduction, or she might…

— Gail Carriger

I believe the defining moment was when certain persons, who shall remain nameless, objected to my fuchsia silk striped waistcoat. I loved…

— Gail Carriger

“You, my child, will marry well. More than once." (...) The lady retrieved the cards and shuffled them back together into one…

— Gail Carriger

“We call him Felix. Doesn't hold with titles, do you, Viscount?" "A luxury only the titled can afford, I'm sure," said Sophronia.…

— Gail Carriger

Lord Maccon asked meekly, shifting against her in a manner that ensured she realized the nibbling had affected his outsides just as…

— Gail Carriger