Forgetting Sarah Marshall Quotes

30 quotes in 378 categories

• Matthew: I have a question for you real quick. What did you think of my demo? Did you get it? Aldous Snow: I was gonna…
• Brian: You don't need to put your P in a V right now. Peter Bretter: No, I need to B my L on someone's T's.
• Come on out. Oh, the weather outside is weather...-Surfing Instructor
• When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fuck the lemons,' and bail. -Surfing Instructor
• Oh ok, I'll just go fuck myself then. -Matthew
• God put our mouths on our head for a reason. No! -Darald
• Peter Bretter: Maybe this is a sign from God that I should forget her. Darald: Maybe this is a sign that you should be *with*…
• I like her red hair. I wonder if the carpet matches her pubes. -Surfing Instructor
• Are those sad tissues or happy tissues? -Kemo
• Surfing Instructor: If you get bitten by a shark, you're not just gonna give up surfing, are you? Peter Bretter: Yeah, probably.
• Oh, if they were Sean Jean sweatpants it would be no problem, but because they were Costco brand, it's the worst thing I could do.…
• Seemingly, the only actresses that can survive are the ones that show their cooter and I refuse to that. Excuse me, but I have a…
• Peter Bretter: How are things going with the lady? Darald: Not awesome. She's complicated, like the Da Vinci Code, except harder to crack.
• Darald: What's the state fish of Hawaii? Dwayne the Bartender: The Humuhumunukunukuapua'a. Yeah, bitch
• You have Christ between your thighs... only with a shorter beard. -Darald
• He turned down a blow job from his ex-girlfriend... mid-blowjob. You know how hard that is for a man? It's called blue balls. He's like…
• Let me just say that if God was a city planner he would not put a playground next to a sewage system! -Darald
• You're like one of those women from Flavor of Love. 'I'm gonna kill you.' -Peter Bretter
• Off to find the mythical clitoris! -Darald
• I mean, I've heard that women do fake orgasms, but I've never seen it... It really, deeply upset me. -Aldous Snow

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