Easy A

All I could think was, 'Great, now I'm a tramp! I'll have to get a lower back tattoo and pierce something not…

— Easy A

Blech! Worst song ever! -Olive Penderghast

— Easy A

A is for Awesome. -Olive Penderghast

— Easy A

People thought I was a dirty skank? Fine. I'd be the dirtiest skank they've ever seen. -Olive Penderghast

— Easy A

This is public school. If I can keep the girls off the pole and the boys off the pipe, I get a…

— Easy A

We've had nine classes together since Kindergarten... ten if you count Religion of Other Cultures, which you didn't because you called it…

— Easy A

I might even lose my virginity to him. I don't know when will it happen. You know, maybe in five minutes, or…

— Easy A

Who have you been sleeping with? You tell me right now or I will kill you! -Micah's Mom

— Easy A

Due to his 'condition,' Micah was sent on an extended visit to his grandparents' in Palatka, Florida. And if there's one thing…

— Easy A

So, what's with your new look? It's very whore couture. -Brandon

— Easy A

I want a one hundred dollar gift card deposited into my locker by noon tomorrow. Preferably to The Gap, but I'd also…

— Easy A

Just because you lost your virginity doesn't mean you can go around throwing your cat at everybody! -Rhiannon

— Easy A

I started piling on lie after lie. It was like setting up Jenga. -Olive Penderghast

— Easy A

You don't understand how hard it is, all right? Hmm? I'm tormented everyday at school. It's like I'm being suffocated, and sure…

— Easy A

You've made your bed...I just hope for your sake, you've cleaned the sheets. -Marianne

— Easy A

The rumors of my promiscuity have been greatly exaggerated. -Olive Penderghast

— Easy A

I used to be anonymous, invisible to the opposite sex. If Google Earth were a guy couldn't find me if I was…

— Easy A

Welcome. This is where the magic happens. And as we all know, by 'magic' I mean 'nothing.' -Olive Penderghast

— Easy A

George is not a sexy name. George is like what you name your teddy bear, not the name you wanna scream out…

— Easy A

That's the one thing that trumps religion...capitalism. -Olive Penderghast

— Easy A

He's not the sharpest Christian in the bible. -Mrs. Griffith

— Easy A

Notoriety for whatever reason, never seems to benefit the noted, only the 'notees'. -Woodchuck Todd

— Easy A

I'm drunk. What's up, bitches? -Brandon

— Easy A

After we watch 'The Bucket List,' remember to cross "watch 'The Bucket List'" off our bucket list. -Dill

— Easy A

Let the record show that I, Olive Penderghast, being of sound mind and below average breast-size, swear to tell the truth, the…

— Easy A