Due Date Quotes

32 quotes in 394 categories

• Nothin' he loved more than jazz music and womens titties. -Ethan Tremblay
• No, no, no, no! His dad is the coffee. He passed away and his remains were in the fucking coffee can! -Peter Highman
• Yeah, there's plenty of him still in here. Darryl, he made three cups of coffee, I think there's about eight cups of my dad left…
• What about the dog? Does he have glycoma? Cause his eyes are glassy as fuck. -Border Security Guard
• Unfortunately, I need you to drive. I can't because I'm on vicodin, I'm not supposed to operate heavy machinery. I will tell you this, if…
• You sound like Jason Bourne, man. You don't know where you're going, no ID. -Peter Highman
• You Americano's sneak into our country, bring drugs, party. You sleep with our women. -Federali Agent
• Yeah. Well, I was in stealth mode. Still got the scarf on my head and everything. -Ethan Tremblay
• You were like a fucking commando! You were a comanche warrior. -Peter Highman
• Fine. But in the future when we're hanging out as buddies, if we get into a fight, don't got for my face! You know that's…
• I can't believe I did that! Sorry, Peter. I'm so sorry. I didn't think it was loaded. I'm so embaressed. Pull over. -Ethan Tremblay
• I kept some. I kept a little bit of it and put it in my wallet. It's good for sore ankles and stuff. -Ethan Tremblay

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