Dorothy Parker

And if my heart be scarred and burned, The safer, I, for all I learned.

— Dorothy Parker

“The lads I've met in cupid's deadlock Were - shall we say? - born out of wedlock”

— Dorothy Parker

“Hence," goes on the professor, "definitions of happiness are interesting." I suppose the best thing to do with that is to let…

— Dorothy Parker

Despite his persecutions, Mr. [Upton] Sinclair reveals himself in Money Writes! to be an enviable man. Always the thing he desires to…

— Dorothy Parker

Why is it no one sent me yet one perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it's always just my luck to…

— Dorothy Parker

Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.

— Dorothy Parker

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldnt be a bit surprised

— Dorothy Parker

“I think that I shall never know Why I am thus, and I am so. Around me, other girls inspire In men…

— Dorothy Parker

This play John Drinkwater's Abraham Lincoln holds the season's record, thus far, with a run of four evening performances and one matinee.…

— Dorothy Parker

“I'm quite all right. I'm not even scared. You see, I've learned from looking around, there is something worse than loneliness--and that's…

— Dorothy Parker

At birth the Devil touched my tongue.

— Dorothy Parker

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

— Dorothy Parker

(Scottish Terriers) have all the compactness of a small dog and all the valor of a big one. And they are so…

— Dorothy Parker

Gratitude - the meanest and most snivelling attribute in the world.

— Dorothy Parker

“When you're awake, all the men go and fall for you - Sleep, pretty lady, and give me a chance (From the…

— Dorothy Parker

“For years I have been crouching in corners hissing small and ladylike anathema of Theodore Dreiser.”

— Dorothy Parker

Into love and out again, Thus I went and thus I go. Spare your voice, and hold your pen: Well and bitterly…

— Dorothy Parker

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

— Dorothy Parker

“ The House Beautiful is, for me, the play lousy.”

— Dorothy Parker

Money was made, not to command our will, But all our lawful pleasures to fulfill. Shame and woe to us, if we…

— Dorothy Parker

“God's acre was her garden-spot, she said; She sat there often, of the Summer days, Little and slim and sweet, among the…

— Dorothy Parker

If I had any decency, I'd be dead. Most of my friends are.

— Dorothy Parker

On being told of the death of former President Calvin Coolidge: How could they tell?

— Dorothy Parker

Upton Sinclair is his own King Charles' head. He cannot keep himself out of his writings, try though he may; or, by…

— Dorothy Parker

All I say is, nobody has any business to go around looking like a horse and behaving as if it were all…

— Dorothy Parker