You can't trust girls. When I get a girlfriend I am not going to tell her where I live or work. — David Thorne Girl Copy Share Image
“I was taught never to make a threat unless you are prepared to carry it out and I am not a fan… — David Thorne Humour Copy Share Image
“If you had managed to persuade my mother not to procreate, I would not exist to send you the plans for constructing… — David Thorne Parenting Copy Share Image
“Charity is detrimental unless it helps the recipient become independent of it.” — David Thorne Generosity Copy Share Image
“I do not own any camping gear, but this is not a problem, as I have watched every season of Survivor.” — David Thorne Copy Share Image
“In my country, terawatt globes are reserved for police helicopter chases and warning sailors of hazardous shoals. This is despite the fact… — David Thorne Australia Copy Share Image
“It is not necessary to attempt a resolution when it is self-resolving.” — David Thorne Copy Share Image
Without a concise set of rules to follow we would probably all have to resort to common sense — David Thorne Common Copy Share Image
“While I do not have a boyfriend, I do have a friend who is homosexual and I once asked him "Do you… — David Thorne Emails Copy Share Image
“The four seasons in Australia consist of "fuck it's hot," "Can you believe how fucking hot it is?", "I won't be in… — David Thorne Australia Copy Share Image
“I was commissioned to write copy for an annual publication produced by Top Tourist Parks of Australia. After a print run of… — David Thorne Copy Share Image
I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. — David Thorne Constructive Copy Share Image
“Is the guy in the wheelchair in Glee acting or is he a real parallelogram?” — David Thorne Copy Share Image
Do you ever think about having sex with Rosie O'Donnell because you are straight? Same thing. — David Thorne Having sex Copy Share Image
“I understand the need for conformity. Without a concise set of rules to follow we would probably all have to resort to… — David Thorne Power Copy Share Image
I was taught never to make a threat unless you are prepared to carry it out, and I am not a fan… — David Thorne Ask me Copy Share Image
Opinions are like nipples, everybody has one. Some have firm points, others are barely discernible through layers, and some are displayed at… — David Thorne Audience Copy Share Image
the old man dance, where I tense up, shuffle my feet intermittently, complain about the music volume, and sit down for a… — David Thorne Complaining Copy Share Image
Should check the Internet and make sure everything on there is correct. — David Thorne Checks Copy Share Image
“How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to e-mail you the remaining eighty-six photos of my dog… — David Thorne Copy Share Image
“Instead of finding myself in the future, I traveled about fifty metres along the sidewalk at 200mph before finding myself in a… — David Thorne Finding myself Copy Share Image
