All Dave Chappelle Quotes
- I love Ohio. Love
- I love my jokes. Jokes
- Somebody broke into my house once, this is a good time to call the police, but mm mm, nope. The house was too nice. It… Believe
- Oh my god. Open and shut case, Johnson. I saw this once when I was a rookie. Apparently this nigger broke in and put up… Apparently
- Hey, baby! Stop selling weed! Baby
- They got a character on there named Oscar, they treat this guy like shit the entire show. They judge him right in his face, "Oscar… Bitch
- Im rich bitch! Bitch
- Hey, baby! Stop selling weed, all right, you've got your whole life ahead of you." He goes, "Fuck you, nigga. I got kids to feed!" Ahead
- No one calls 911 cool and relaxed. Now that shit would sound ridiculous. Calls
- Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it. Bible
- Then Jasper said "Look here, nigger, if anyone's gonna have sex with my sister, it's gonna be me." Gonna
- Is this the 5:00 Free Crack Giveaway? Crack
- New white people, you can't scare these white people, I tried. New
- Every group of brothers should have at least one white guy in it. Im serious for safety, cuz when the shit goes down someone is… Brothers
- I dont like letting my freinds drive drunk, but I was smokin' a joint I really couldn't say shit to the guy. Dont
- I knew it was a bad idea, but I was high. I tried to explain to him that it was a bad idea but all… All
- No one wants to get their ass beat to a soundtrack. Ass
- The old baby on the corner trick a, not gonna fall for that shit. Baby
- Hey baby, baby go home man its three oclock in the morning what the fuck are you doing up. The baby said I'm sellin weed… Baby
- Get out of here cracky. Cracky
- Hey, niggers! Turn that jungle music down! Woogie boogie, nigger! Woogie boogie! Boogie
- Fuck Nick Cannon! Dave Chappelle! Cannon
- Who got the part? Chris Tucker? Shit! Who got the other part? Tell me man. Jackie Chan? That mother fucker can't even speak English! Chan
- I'm sorry, Charlie Murphy, it was an accident. I was having too much fun. I offer you a truce. The stickiest of the icky. You… Accident
- I'm Rick James, bitch. Bitch