All Dave Chappelle Quotes
- I've been a comedian since I was fourteen. But I've never really been a CEO. Been
- I've done 10 or 11 pilots for network television, which is ridiculous. Network
- If you don't have the right people around you and you're moving at a million miles an hour you can lose yourself. Hour
- Stand-up is the kind of gig that'll show you where you're at. Gig
- When I'm on stage, I get real happy there. Maybe that's the only time in my adult life I feel like myself. Adult
- Whether it means having a show, or a movie, or just being on a stage, I need an avenue to say what I have to… Avenue
- One of the things that happens when people make the leap from a certain amount of money to tens of millions of dollars is that… Amount
- Something about New York, man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you're interested in being funny,… Anywhere
- Most of the people around me have a vested interest in how much money I make. You know, so a celebrity could find themselves in… Celebrity
- The mark of greatness is when everything before you is obsolete, and everything after you bears your mark. Bears
- I wish I had more hands, so I could give those titties four thumbs down! Down
- Things like racism are institutionalized. You might not know any bigots. You feel like "well I don't hate black people so I'm not a racist,"… Any
- Listen, here it is: Technically, I never quit. I'm seven years late for work. Late
- Because I was surrounded by so much negativity at some point that it took me going back and doing stand-up to realize, you know, people… Going Back
- Cause my life is dope, and I do dope sh*t Cause
- I always take a relationship to the next level. If that works out, I take it to the next level after that, until I finally… Absolutely
- Who goes from America to Africa for medical attention? Africa
- They do what they do for money - that's all. I don't even know why you're listening to me. I've done commercials for both Coke… All
- I felt in a lot of instances I was deliberately being put through stress because when you're a guy who generates money, people have a… Controlling
- I don't do drugs, though. Just weed. Cannabis
- No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone... you answer it. Answer
- What is wrong with me i just bought a bag of weed from an infant. Bag
- Dave! Relax! Close your buttcheeks! Buttcheeks
- I'm Dave Chappelle and I'm a chronic masturbator. Chappelle
- There's not too many people that don't think I'm crazy, for walking away from so much money," he said. "I'm at a restaurant with my… Across