Charles Willeford

Just tell the truth, and they'll accuse you of writing black humor.

— Charles Willeford

“Smoking comforts ordinary men, but I'm not an ordinary man. There aren't many like me left. And it's a good thing for…

— Charles Willeford

“Money is the root of all goodness. To talk disparagingly about money is the privilege of those who have money. There are…

— Charles Willeford

“It started out as kind of a joke, and then it wasn't funny anymore because money became involved. Deep down, nothing about…

— Charles Willeford

“By the end of a short walk, the septic tip of a cane probably collects enough germs to destroy a small city.”

— Charles Willeford

Outside of taking care of a man’s needs, women don’t get much pleasure out of life, anyways.

— Charles Willeford

I can't see any point to hanging around a Burger King all day, no matter how much money you make. .... I'll…

— Charles Willeford

“Anymore cutting and the movie would be as silly as cutting a condensed Reader's Digest novel.”

— Charles Willeford

“he was an oddity of some magnitude.”

— Charles Willeford

I'm not going to ruin my movie because of some stupid ruling that it has to be ninety minutes long. That's just…

— Charles Willeford

“It is a funny thing. A man can make a promise to his God, break it five minutes later and never think…

— Charles Willeford

“The Filipino houseboy was conscious now”

— Charles Willeford

“a man should always observe fanaticism when he gets the chance.”

— Charles Willeford

“No whiskey, no religion, nothing.”

— Charles Willeford

Nothing human surprises me.

— Charles Willeford

“thinking, when you first try it, is very difficult.”

— Charles Willeford

My work is one long triumph over my limitations.

— Charles Willeford