Ari Gold Quotes

21 quotes in 296 categories

• Call me Helen Keller because Im a fucking miracle worker!
• Tell Drama hes on the top of my list of things to do today, along with inserting needles in my cock!
• You know what they feed people on an indi set, Vinnie? Nothing! They dont give you a trailer. They tell you to go sit on…
• Im ready to go here, all right? Its like R. Kelly at recess. Honey, honey, what are you doing? Are you kidding me? Baby!
• You can have it if you want to live in Agora fucking hills, and go to group therapy, but if you want a Beverly Hills…
• We are gonna get drunk with Russell Crowe and were gonna head-butt some goddamn kangaroos.
• Smoke more weed, Turtle. Seriously, smoke more weed.
• My assistant is to be gang-raped by a gang of one.
• Listen, Lloyd, I want you to put all my files, folders, binders, everything into a box! If you find a used condom, an executioners mask,…
• That was a good speech, Lloyd. If I was 25 and liked cock, we could be something.
• Dana I have never cheated on my wife, not since she became my wife, but if you wanna jerk me in the car now, Im…
• I knew you liked dick, Babs, but I didnt realize you were a cocksucker.
• Its like high school. You cant fuck the prom queen until she finds out her best friend jerked you off underneath the bleachers!
• You fire a guy, you create a rival. You fire a woman, you create a housewife.
• I drove to work today in an $80,000 Mercedes and Im going home in a prop car from Fast and the Furious my life is…
• Fuck the phones, Lloyd! Unless Carmen Electra calls for an emergency titty-fuck, dont answer!
• I would say hug it out, but I dont want you drawing wood.
• Fuck you. Whered you hear that, Friendster?
• You will come back stronger then ever. Like Lance Armstrong. But with two balls.
• Fuck Richard Roper. You know I went to college with him? Yeah when he was pledging we used to tie beer cans around his nuts…

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