All Ambrose Bierce Quotes
- Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured. Affair
- War is God's way of teaching Americans geography. American
- Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. Advantage
- Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility. Business
- Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage. Curable
- Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly. Child
- Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others. Conservative
- Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic. Art
- Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while. Meekness
- Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband. Beauty
- History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools. Account
- Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree. Degree
- Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding. Accordance
- Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two. All
- Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly. Attitude
- Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue. Disguised
- Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues. Beautiful
- Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced. Acquaintance
- Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. Day
- Doubt, indulged and cherished, is in danger of becoming denial; but if honest, and bent on thorough investigation, it may soon lead to full establishment… Becoming
- Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught. Academe
- Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. Courage
- Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy. Acceptable
- Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. Adj Unduly
- An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me. Definitions