“Go to college. Have a lot of babies. Break a lot of hearts. And realize every minute of it.” — Adam Selzer Every Minute Copy Share Image
“Whenever I start thinking about death, it always cheers me up to think about my funeral and my tombstone (which, by the… — Adam Selzer Death Copy Share Image
Wow,” says Peter, “when your guidance counselor tells you to die, you really have problems. — Adam Selzer Counselor Copy Share Image
“When a girl turns down your advances, the polite thing to do is just move on.” — Adam Selzer Copy Share Image
Not that anyone minds--no one's paying attention to the music. Most of them never really listen to music. Practically no one actually… — Adam Selzer Attention Copy Share Image
Some of them are wearing skirts that I'm pretty sure are supposed to be belts. — Adam Selzer Belts Copy Share Image
“I mean, you really can't imagine how awesome coffee tastes, or how awesome it is to hear music, to hear idiots talking...… — Adam Selzer Inspiration Copy Share Image
If you really like someone, it doesn't matter what their mouth feels or tastes like. The kiss is still awesome. — Adam Selzer Feels Copy Share Image
“Did you just hit on her by calling her your cousin?" asks Sadie. "'Cause, damn!” — Adam Selzer Copy Share Image
“Isn't it generally known that you have to overlook flaws in people you date, to some extent? I mean, you expect them… — Adam Selzer Copy Share Image
“There a lot of things I can't do," he says. "With my... health." "Well," I say, "can you kiss girls?” — Adam Selzer Health Copy Share Image
“I had figured out that it was a bad idea, but, well, it´s hard to argue with love, even when it´s making… — Adam Selzer Bad idea Copy Share Image
“I mean, who wants to date a guy who thinks a girl who can't operate a fruit cup is attractive?” — Adam Selzer Copy Share Image
When you're dead, everything in the world is like a song that makes you cry. — Adam Selzer Cry Copy Share Image
“And the third is from him: "Second date?" I immediately text him back: "Hell yeah!" Then I collapse on my bed and… — Adam Selzer Dating Copy Share Image
The Civil Rights Act of 1964 was the most sweeping civil rights legislation of its day, and included women's rights as part… — Adam Selzer Bills Copy Share Image
“What are you eating?" he ask us. "Whatever won't kill me, please" I said. "Whatever don't kill you'll make you stronger" says… — Adam Selzer Humor Copy Share Image
Let me get this straight," I say. "You're practically ordering me to die. What kind of guidance counselor are you? — Adam Selzer Counselor Copy Share Image
A long time ago, Trinity and I made a list of types of guys you should never date. We add to it… — Adam Selzer Add Copy Share Image
