Bad relationship Quote by Amir Levine
““It is very important that you be compassionate with yourself. The worse you feel about yourself, the more you'll want to go back to the false safety of the bad relationship you were in. Your attachment system gets activated more when you feel bad about yourself””
About This Quote
Source Book: Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment, 2015
Self‑compassion reduces reliance on unhealthy relationships; feeling bad triggers attachment seeking safety in familiar but harmful patterns.
In simple terms: Being kind to yourself lowers the pull toward bad relationships.
Key Takeaway
Practice self‑compassion daily.
Themes
self‑esteem
relationships
attachment theory
Mood
reflective
hopeful
Type
advice
psychological
When to use this quote
- therapy sessions
- personal journaling
- relationship counseling
Key Concepts
self‑compassion
emotional regulation
attachment triggers
Questions to Reflect On
- What self‑compassion practices work best for you?
- How do you recognize when you’re seeking false safety?
A Different Perspective
Self‑compassion alone may not change deep‑seated attachment patterns without external support.
![“Whether plain or gorgeous, we've learned to appreciate [secure-type people] for what they really are -- the "supermates" of evolution -- and we hope that you will too.” quote by Amir Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/106/amir-levine-19091_biology_whether-plain-or-gorgeous-we-ve-learned_760581.jpg)
![“our culture encourages you [with an anxious attachment style] to believe that many of your needs are illegitimate. But whether they are legitimate or not for someone else is beside the point. They are essential for your happiness, and that is what's important.” quote by Amir Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/789/amir-levine-19091_happiness_our-culture-encourages-you-with-an-anxio_796547.jpg)
![“Oxytocin, a hormone and neuropeptide ... plays a major role in attachment processes and serves several purposes: It causes women to go into labor, strengthens attachment, and ... [increases] trust and cooperation. We get a boost of oxytocin in our brain during orgasm and even when we cuddle…” quote by Amir Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/676/amir-levine-19091_quality-time_oxytocin-a-hormone-and-neuropeptide-play_849739.jpg)
