Ability to love Quote by Amir Levine
““Basically, secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving; anxious people crave intimacy, are often preoccupied with their relationships, and tend to worry about their partner’s ability to love them back; avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.””
About This Quote
Source Book: Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, 2010
People’s attachment styles shape how they experience closeness: secure feel safe, anxious fear loss, avoidant fear losing independence.
In simple terms: Attachment styles affect intimacy.
Key Takeaway
Recognize your style to improve relationships.
Themes
attachment
intimacy
relationships
Mood
reflective
hopeful
Type
insightful
educational
When to use this quote
- dating
- marriage counseling
- friendship building
- self‑reflection
Key Concepts
psychology
attachment theory
emotional needs
Questions to Reflect On
- How does your style show up in daily interactions?
- What steps can you take to balance closeness and independence?
A Different Perspective
Secure may still fear vulnerability; anxious may become overly dependent; avoidant may miss deep connection.
![“Whether plain or gorgeous, we've learned to appreciate [secure-type people] for what they really are -- the "supermates" of evolution -- and we hope that you will too.” quote by Amir Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/106/amir-levine-19091_biology_whether-plain-or-gorgeous-we-ve-learned_760581.jpg)
![“our culture encourages you [with an anxious attachment style] to believe that many of your needs are illegitimate. But whether they are legitimate or not for someone else is beside the point. They are essential for your happiness, and that is what's important.” quote by Amir Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/789/amir-levine-19091_happiness_our-culture-encourages-you-with-an-anxio_796547.jpg)
![“Oxytocin, a hormone and neuropeptide ... plays a major role in attachment processes and serves several purposes: It causes women to go into labor, strengthens attachment, and ... [increases] trust and cooperation. We get a boost of oxytocin in our brain during orgasm and even when we cuddle…” quote by Amir Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/676/amir-levine-19091_quality-time_oxytocin-a-hormone-and-neuropeptide-play_849739.jpg)
