Quote by Alan Lawrence Sitomer

E! didn't like it when we'd make fun of clips from ESPN - they'd be like, 'That's sports! That's not our audience!'

— Joel McHale

“This weekend on The History Channel, someone digs through old plastic junk (“It’s a Dukes of Hazzard wastebasket!”), someone else tries to sell a…

— Donald R. Prothero

“Jack Peyton is HOT!" someone from the audience yelled. "Toby Klein is HOTTER" a male voice argued, and I almost went into an epileptic…

— Jennifer Lynn Barnes

I thought I wanted to be on ESPN, but I didn't know what the heck it was. I knew it was sports television, but…

— Samantha Ponder

“I would like to shove this stick up your whoo-hoo! ”

— Nii

“Bring on the dancing bear!”

— Neal Shusterman

“I love seeing other channels counterprogram the Super Bowl. PBS: "DAMN RIGHT we're airing a new 'Masterpiece Classic'! Fuck off, sports!”

— Tara Ariano

“And LO and BEHOLD, I was on BOTH the six AND eleven o’clock newscasts! AND all the commercials, as well! (‘Day of the drag…

— James St. James

“Q: What did the coach scream to the snack machine? A: Give me my quarterback!”

— Uncle Amon

“Are those prechopped peppers in that Tupperware container?” Troy cracked an egg into a bowl. “Yeah.” “I’m not sleeping with you.” “Jesus,” he choked…

— Tessa Bailey

“The guy stroked his goatee. “What do you call twenty guys watching the World Series?” “The New York Yankees,” Butch replied. The vampire laughed…

— J.R. Ward

“hot ‘n spicy loving, hmm”

— Lia Peele