“Q and Beanpole and I giggled at the way our math teacher, Mr. Sung-Li, wore four pencils in his shirt pocket in case he was suddenly attacked by a multiplication problem or something.” — Alan Lawrence Sitomer Copy Share Image
“Cashier: Yes, can I help you? Tee-Ay: Yeah, I need a rattle. Cashier: Aisle eight. Tee-Ay: I'm looking for the kind that'll give a fatherless black baby a future, you got any of those? Cashier: Girl, if we sold those, do you think I'd be workin' here?” — Alan Lawrence Sitomer Copy Share
“Q and Beanpole and I giggled at the way our math teacher, Mr. Sung-Li, wore four pencils in his shirt pocket in case he… — Alan Lawrence Sitomer Copy Share Image
“Rejections are thin 'cause they really have nothing to say other than, "Sorry, dude, you're screwed." acceptances are thick 'cause they have lots of… — Alan Lawrence Sitomer Copy Share Image
“Put it on channel eight- I wanna watch ESPN!" Shove it up your a** with a flaming hot jalepeno pepper, Teddy!” — Alan Lawrence Sitomer Copy Share Image
“After I took two pees- 'cause the news of this mandatory dress rehearsal was way too big of a nuclear bomb to just take… — Alan Lawrence Sitomer Copy Share Image
