Pickup lines never work...I think someone clever, witty and funny is very attractive. — Kate Upton Copy Share Image
If I am not worth the wooing, I surely am not worth the winning! — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Copy Share Image
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Wit is better as a seasoning than as a whole dish by itself. — Christian Nestell Bovee Copy Share Image
Marriage paralyzes men from the neck up and women from the waist down. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Dear gym teacher, how the hell are you fat? Sincerely, you teach exercise for a living! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I earn and pay my own way as a great many women do today. Why should unmarried women be discriminated against -… — Dinah Shore Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, In Japanese is called Judo -- the art of conquering by yielding. This is the western equivalent of Yes, dear; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Man who keep feet firmly on ground, have trouble putting on pants. Woman who slides down banister, makes monkey shine. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When people talk like a hoe, dress like a hoe, walk like a hoe, act like a hoe, but get mad when… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Isn't it strange that a group of very intelligent individuals combined into a political party become collectively stupid? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A small degree of wit, accompanied by good sense, is less tiresome in the long run than a great amount of wit… — Francois de La Rochefoucauld Copy Share Image
Before the Internet, if someone disappeared, it meant you should go looking for them. Now it means they got a life. — Ashish Chauhan Copy Share Image
If mom was here she would be subtweeting all over the place stuff like : who's gonna buy groceries : who's gonna… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“It is difficult to love someone who loves you, but easy to hate someone who loves you, and love someone who hates… — Michael Bassey Johnson Copy Share Image
Well, let's just call them, uh, Mr. X and Mrs. Y. So anyway, Mr. X would say, 'Marge, if this doesn't get… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It's much simpler to be tortured on camera or to be filmed losing your mind. Whereas a script that has characters who… — Ellen Page Copy Share Image
What I don't like is snark for snark's sake. If you are going to make fun of me, at least be witty… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“When you are angry try your best to go to sleep, it keeps you away from speaking, writing and thinking while you… — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
I was brought up by very witty people who were dealing with quite difficult things: disease and death... I was brought up… — Emma Thompson Copy Share Image
Next Time someone rings your home phone, test their intelligence by replying with 'Hi, can I call you back I'm driving' — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WIFE, A woman who can be labelled intelligent when she sees through her husband -- she's understanding when she sees him through; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Be completely honest - have you ever met someone who you thought was truly clever or interesting or witty who wore fawn? — Claudia Winkleman Copy Share Image
“Life is meaning less when you realized that you are about to die. Till then, everything negative however trifle they may be,… — Ankur Basu Roy Copy Share Image
They say the grass is greener on the other side...that's such b.s. cause when I flipped it over all I saw was… — Sarah Moores Copy Share Image
Surrealism in painting amounted to little more than the contents of a meagerly stocked dream world: a few witty fantasies, mostly wet… — Susan Sontag Copy Share Image
I love helping people getting what they want. Today I overheard a girl saying I'd die for spicy mc burger so I… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Winning supporters over can only really be achieved by what you do, not what you say. It's no use just smiling and… — Randy Lerner Copy Share Image
“yes, i have dated Salvador Dali guy when i was a high school girl. he was a great lover. but i had… — Hiroko Sakai Copy Share Image
I've worked a lot with Noah Baumbach, and he doesn't make it easy to like his characters, but the stories are funny… — Ciaran Hinds Copy Share Image
Laughter not only makes the journey endurable and even enjoyable, it also helps keep us healthy… Be like a child: learn to… — Joyce Meyer Copy Share Image
“I was going to write a sharp witty email full of devastating one-liners but I suspect you want something nicer than that” — Lucy Robinson Copy Share Image
My wife just told me, You're fucking idiot considering as she's the only woman I love, then yes, it's a fair assumption. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LOVE, The most slippery word in the human language -- used by knaves to seduce, by fools for comfort, and by most… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Told my mom, I can become the next Hitler if I drop out of school. She laughed hysterically for 2 hours. I'm… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Had a virtual friend once. But all he did was tweeting all day. Also, his name was Virtual Friend. Man, what was… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you send me abusive mentions, I will star it & then retweet your tweets to show you how my twitter life… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I know not whether Laws be right, Or whether Laws be wrong; All that we know who be in jail Is that… — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
Elgar is not manic enough to be Russian, not witty or pointilliste enough to be French, not harmonically simple enough to be… — Anthony Burgess Copy Share Image
