HUSBAND, SMART, A man who buys his wife such fine china that she will never trust him to do the dishes; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I started pooping 10 times a day because it's where I come up with my best tweets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Me: Where have you been all my life? She: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If I said It would take too long to explain. I really meant I have no idea how it works. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Seto Kaiba [to Ishizu]: Are you sure you can trust me, Ishizu...? What if I retrieve the three rare cards...but refuse to… — Kazuki Takahashi Copy Share Image
My main problem is that over and over again, I try to get all my characters to say stuff that I think… — Anne Lamott Copy Share Image
In the early years, you fight because you don't understand each other. In the later years, you fight because you do. — Joan Didion Copy Share Image
After 70, a woman is like Tibet: Beautiful, with a mysterious past andthe wisdom of the ages. An adventurous spirit and a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“When someone gives you advice, just ask them to give it in writing and they will either keep mum or will run… — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
What is your worst sin? My vanity. I spend hours before the mirror admiring my beauty. That isn't vanity, dear, that's imagination. — Psyche_Zeroh Copy Share Image
“I remember stating that humour was the poor cousin of wit and at best it was the whetstone on which wit sharpened… — Catherine Cookson Copy Share Image
LOVE, A temporary insanity curable by marriage or the removing of the patient from the influences under which he or she incurred… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If the world were a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Hitman: The one who kills people for money. Hitwoman: The one who doesn't know when to shut the fuck up. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power - like God must feel when he's holding… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Were you dropped on your headwhen you were younger? Yeah, in a pool of sexy. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
All my life I've wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought — Robert Breault Copy Share Image
WIFE, Is in trouble with her roles when her husband finds her a whore in the kitchen and a cook in the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Did It Hurt?... When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry — Norman Wisdom Copy Share Image
WRINKLES: Something other people have, Similar to my character lines. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
They always say to treat people the way you want to be treated. So far, I've given 4 handjobs today. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My girl went away for the weekend, and I didn't masturbate once. I masturbated 21 times. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LOVE, Something which combines the two greatest powers on earth -- war and peace; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
True wit is nature to advantage dressed; What oft was thought, but ne'er so well expressed. — Alexander Pope Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A group which consists of: a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I can't listen to the radio. Every love song reminds me of you. It hurts. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Everytime someone tweet 'Love is in the air' I usually go & shave my balls. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Do I have an option? when asked by the press if she was "running as a woman." — Patricia Schroeder Copy Share Image
My wife always bring these injured animals to home. I think she should just stop driving. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Nothing is sadder than a guy who complains on Facebook about how shitty his sex life is. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
![“Seto Kaiba [to Ishizu]: Are you sure you can trust me, Ishizu...? What if I retrieve the three rare cards...but refuse to let them go...?” quote by Kazuki Takahashi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c9f/kazuki-takahashi-38390_dark-humor_seto-kaiba-to-ishizu-are-you-sure-you-ca_1411928.jpg)
