A team that is always fun with witty sense of humor. We help each other around a lot and help push each… — Min Copy Share Image
I was watching Gene Simmons' TV show, Family Jewels. Or as it's known in the business, 'The Osbournes' Without the Talented Father. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the HUNTER says, Goes deep in the bush, shoots twice and always eats what he shoots — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't even know if it's possible, but if it were, I'd like to make those kinds of old movies where the… — Lisa Kudrow Copy Share Image
As soon as she gets her divorce one of us is going to marry her. We don't know which. She is about… — Richard H. Davis Copy Share Image
“Any life-form advanced enough to travel light-years through interstellar space would have nothing to learn by probing the rectums of farmers in… — Dan Brown Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care of our house & everyone in it, & I learned we… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A young man fills out an application for a job and does well until he gets to the last question, "Who Should… — Milton Berle Copy Share Image
No man should travel until he has learned the language of the country he visits. Otherwise he voluntarily makes himself a great… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I wanted to play with death, like a child with a new toy, I wanted to push all the buttons and see… — Holly Hood Copy Share Image
Wit lies in recognizing the resemblance among things which differ and the difference between things which are alike. — Madame de Stael Copy Share Image
“Being overly smart is obnoxious, being wise is a turn on. There’s something irresistible about someone you can learn from. The need… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Our way is not soft grass; it's a mountain path with lots of rocks. But it goes upwards, forward, toward the sun. — Ruth Westheimer Copy Share Image
Histories make men wise; poets, witty; the mathematics, subtle; natural philosophy, deep; moral, grave; logic and rhetoric, able to contend. — Francis Bacon Copy Share Image
I should go to Paris and jump off of the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde, I could be dead three… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I praise God for you, sir: your reasons at dinner have been sharp and sententious; pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, audacious… — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
You can always win an argument with a lady during your last few minutes of your life by telling her that she's… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
“Stop to read good writers who are witty and are fun, 'cause that's the kind of fuel on which your Train of… — Mister Lemur Copy Share Image
Many get the repute of being witty but thereby lose the credit of being sensible. Jest has its little hour, seriousness should… — Baltasar Gracian Copy Share Image
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I usually lump organized religion, organized labor, and organized crime together. The Mafia gets points for having the best restaurants — Dave Beard Copy Share Image
Well Mandira, I hope not. You see, I started both their careers. And as far as i can remember, I started yours… — Shahrukh Khan Copy Share Image
I must be getting absent-minded. Whenever I complain that things aren't what they used to be, I always forget to include myself. — George Burns Copy Share Image
Why do they put alcohol on the arm of a death row inmate before they give him the needle? Are they afraid… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.' — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“A cultivated wit, one that badgers less, can persuade all the more. Artful ridicule can address contentious issues more competently and vigorously… — Horace Copy Share Image
Beauty without wit offers nothing but the enjoyment of its material charms, whilst witty ugliness captivates by the charms of the mind,… — Giacomo Casanova Copy Share Image
Usually when people see me, they see me as more of the soft-spoken one rather than being the witty, smart-tongued character. — Amy Acker Copy Share Image
“Most wives fuck their husbands, just to ensure financial support. Marriage is just a form of legalized prostitution, when you really thought… — K. Syrah Copy Share Image
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel: Has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice; takes care of business. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I may not be perfectly witty, I may not be perfectly wonderful, I may not be perfectly wise, but I am always… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There's one thing that's really great about waking up early, and it's not jogging or greeting the day - it's just that… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
They sit there in committees day after day, And they each put in a color and it comes out gray. And we… — Allan Sherman Copy Share Image
If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
With the possible exception of clothes, beauty salons and Frank Sinatra, there are few subjects all women agree upon. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I'm not so quick-witted. I wish I was. We're pretty different and I kind of live through her in a way, always… — Leisha Hailey Copy Share Image
I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate...eh...spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Want to make a good first impression on a guy? Ask questions about him, seem interested, listen, giggle and swallow. — Family Guy Copy Share Image
