“He was like a poorly written plot twist—predictable yet somehow still disappointing.” — Janus Lucky Copy Share Image
“Respect cannot be inherited, respect is the result of right actions.” — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
“State your point. If the opposite party doesn't agree, state it harder- with a punch.” — Jennifer Bernard Copy Share Image
It's normal to feel the way you do right now but trust me, it will get better. Good luck, be strong. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Some people are just like some schools during summer, they have, NO CLASS. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Funny how it's always the woman with fake hair, fake nails, fake eyelashes, fake boobs…that have the audacity to scream Girrrrrrrrl ain't… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I had a bully as a kid. He was dyslexic, so he used to stick Me Kick signs on my back. Then… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A transposable aphorism is a malaise of the urge to be witty, or in other words, a maxim that is untroubled by… — Umberto Eco Copy Share Image
Borrow your wife's pink slippers just to go check the mail and everybody in the whole damn community will stop by to… — Donny Norris Copy Share Image
It's very witty and it's great to see teenage characters have control that way. And you can actually hear about sex and… — Caroline Dhavernas Copy Share Image
My boss fired me from job today. Unfortunately I need you to impress our clients never means making jokes about them on… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
For the qualities of sheer wit and humor, Swift had no superior, ancient or modern. — Leigh Hunt Copy Share Image
Two negatives don't make a positive, any more than two half-wits make a wit. — Neil Kinnock Copy Share Image
Okay. - the only thing ever said by guys in Sex, Shower and Sandwitch. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The only thing a woman wants people saying behind her back is nice ass. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne. — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
One thing nice about being dead is that you immediately become eligible to appear on stamps and money. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I once arm wrestled the Incredible Hulk. The loser had to paint himself green. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't care if it doesn't make a nickel. I just want every man, woman, and child in America to see it. — Samuel Goldwyn Copy Share Image
Women with pasts interest men because they hope history will repeat itself. — Mae West Copy Share Image
Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination. — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them. — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
After two years in Washington, I often long for the realism and sincerity of Hollywood — Fred Thompson Copy Share Image
Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. -- A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, Is made out of two toothbrushes but a single tube of toothpaste; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate it when I do something like a ninja and there is nobody around to see! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The history of most women is hidden either by silence, or by flourishes and ornaments that amount to silence. — Virginia Woolf Copy Share Image
I once dated a woman who owned a dog. The thing would never shut the fuck up. The dog was cool though. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Good girls pack their toothbrush Bad girls pack their diaphragms Naughty girls pack their dildos — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
