I'd be a great mattress salesman coz I love removing pants for no reason and spending all day looking at porn. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My best tweets are when someone take them personnel & instantly unfollow me. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A woman will watch the game with you. The perfect woman will watch it on top of you. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, An investment that pays big dividends if you manage to keep up the interest. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Third party auditor is a person who always tells that this is not the Right baby. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE CEREMONY, a ritual which should be written (o cut down on divorces) -- by adding a line to the groom's questions… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Had a weird dream last night that I murdered 4 people who unfollowed me on twitter. But woke up relieved to find… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you're a person who says Only God can judge me on a regular basis, people are actually judging you a lot… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
BUREAUCRACY You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a strand… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm still in my first marriage. I know, it's wrong to talk about it so temporary like that. My current husband hates… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
CORPORATE You have two cows. You sell one, force the other to produce the milk of four cows, then act surprised when… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
