I asked a lady on the street for directions. I know women have no sense of direction, I just wanted to look… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The best thing that can happen to a couple married for fifty years or more is that they both grow nearsighted together. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big dick or… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you're not following me yet, hopefully reading this tweet will convince you. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know, you can really get wet playing games in that new Pentium-VI dishwasher. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When a girl says have fun She means have a horrible time without me. Not true... Maybe! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WIFE, A great comfort during her husband's troubles -- those, that as a bachelor, he would never have had; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LOVE, The most slippery word in the human language -- used by knaves to seduce, by fools for comfort, and by most… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Had a virtual friend once. But all he did was tweeting all day. Also, his name was Virtual Friend. Man, what was… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you send me abusive mentions, I will star it & then retweet your tweets to show you how my twitter life… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Told my mom, I can become the next Hitler if I drop out of school. She laughed hysterically for 2 hours. I'm… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I just got engaged. My fiancée won't take my name because Lisa Levin sounds awful. So she's just going to remain Lisa… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. Like this Bible. It cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Good girls think the office is the wrong place to have a romance Bad girls think no place is the wrong place… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Two things in life that are difficult to achieve: 1. To plant your idea in someone's head. 2. To plant someone's money… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
