If someone says expect the unexpected slap them in the face and say 'I bet you didn't expect that!' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Facebook, thanks for reminding me why moving away from my hometown was the best decision ever. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I come from a small town whose population never changed. Each time a woman got pregnant, someone left town. — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
When girls hack a friends Facebook account: 'I love you b*tch!' When boys hack a friends Facebook account: 'I LOVE D*CK IN… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
As my Friend if u hear people discussing me either YOU check them or let me know. If u entertain the conversation,… — LaTruth Hampton Copy Share Image
I once prayed to god for a bike, but quickly found out he didnt work that way...so I stole a bike and… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
If you are going to be offended by other peoples opinions then maybe you should consider keeping yours to yourself — Young Siddiq Prince Copy Share Image
Some people should consider having multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When people say life is short. What the hell??? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!!! What can you do… — Babloo Copy Share Image
If the ocean was made of vodka and I were a duck,i would swim to the bottom and never come up. But… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Funny how it's always the woman with fake hair, fake nails, fake eyelashes, fake boobs…that have the audacity to scream Girrrrrrrrl ain't… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Actually no, my status wasn't aimed at you, but hey, if the shoe fits, feel free to wear it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We all have that one person we hate but constantly look at their facebook profile. — Punkinhead Abhishek Copy Share Image
My internet went down yesterday. I think my neighbor forgot to pay the bill. How irresponsible... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Did you know? Its impossible to say Good Eye Might without sounding Australian? LIKE if you tried :) — Becca Copy Share Image
I'm sorry.I didn't get the memo that said I had to blow sunshine up your ass today!! — Young Siddiq Prince Copy Share Image
Forget the past cause you can't change it...and forget the present...cause I didn't get you one. — Drake Copy Share Image
Why are hoes like 'Oh, its winter, I need a boyfriend to keep me warm?' No bitch, buy a coat. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's a good thing I actually care and ask , if you're going to be like that then I won't ask anymore. — Young Siddiq Prince Copy Share Image
Sometimes, all you need is a loaded Gun and some of your favorite assholes to shoot at. — Rajdeep Sarkar Copy Share Image
Opinions are like orgasms. Mine's the most important and I really don't care about yours. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why is the place you drive on is a parkway, and the place you park on is the driveway? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
So the Titanic is coming out again but in 3D...I wonder if they will see the iceburg this time... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Bitch posted a picture on facebook and said, 'I don't like this one.' why the f*ck you post it then? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If bars don't serve drunk people, I dont think McDonald's should be able to serve fat people. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Oh, it's sunny outside. I better update my Facebook status for all of my friends that don't have windows. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
