Waiter Quotes · Page 3

“Waiter, this is not the policeman I ordered. I wanted one with a lot less sauce.”

— Jennifer Echols

If you wait for inspiration, you're not a writer, but a waiter.

— Louis L'Amour

Los Angeles is peopled by waiters and carpenters and drivers who are there to be actors.

— Patrick Duffy

A diplomat these days is nothing but a head waiter who's allowed to sit down occasionally.

— Peter Ustinov

The little waiter's eyebrows wandered about his forehead in confusion.

— Douglas Adams

Oh, you're an actor??? Why don't you act like a waiter and get me another beer.

— Nikhil Saluja

A Cannibal is a person who walks into a restaurant and orders a waiter.

— Morey Amsterdam

The waiters in France could all be senators in the US.

— Natasha Leggero

I met my first midget in Mexico, and he was a waiter with a sombrero on his head, filled with chips and…

— Chelsea Handler

[On being an actor] .nothing more than a worker in a service occupation . It's like being a waiter or a gas…

— Harrison Ford

So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes…

— Tommy Cooper

Or more precisely, is there anything I can do for you, ma’am? (Waiter) ‘How about a bag for my head, or a…

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

I hate it when people are impolite to waiters or to the valet or the guy in the supermarket. There's no need…

— Ashley Madekwe

I left school at 16 and skipped university to work, initially as a waiter. I think I missed out on what would…

— Peter Mayle

“The best part about being a waiter is all that waiting. Use that time wisely. Try making it as an actor.”

— Jarod Kintz

People who treat waitresses or waiters rudely - or taxi drivers - I have very little tolerance for those people. They work…

— Chloe Sevigny

To go to the Oscars for Moneyball - that was pretty amazing. And to be able to go work with Kathryn Bigelow…

— Chris Pratt

I once joked in a book that there are three things you can't do in life. You can't beat the phone company,…

— Bill Bryson

Hell is probably quite similar to most Paris bistros ... a bit overheated, somewhat too crowded, and a little too noisy for…

— Henry Miller

Given the clientele, the restaurants on Capri might resemble those fancy Northern Italian places on the East Side of Manhattan where the…

— Calvin Trillin

In L.A., the waiters think they're stars. Everybody's always trying to pretend that they see stars every day, so there tends to…

— Jaleel White

I believe that humanity now is desperately calling for new ideas. These new ideas must come from spiritual teachers and artists, from…

— Neale Donald Walsch

The service in L.A. is the best. You don't get sarcastic, surly, fed-up waiters and waitresses like you do in England. They're…

— Ricky Gervais

I don't like people being rude. Bad manners and arrogance make me cross. People making others feel uncomfortable. And I really don't…

— Alan Titchmarsh

“The moral is, never be sorry for a waiter. Sometimes when you sit in a restaurant, still stuffing yourself half an hour…

— George Orwell

In Hamburg the waiters always had Preludin - and various other pills, but I remember Preludin because it was such a big…

— John Lennon

Meanwhile it's got stormy, the tattered fog even thicker, chasing across my path. Three people are sitting in a glassy tourist cafe…

— Werner Herzog

I am one of those who like to stay late at the cafe," the older waiter said. "With all those who do…

— Ernest Hemingway

There have been many definitions of hell, but for the English the best definition is that it is the place where the…

— David Frost

I'm a kid from Minnesota. I like seeing movie stars! So I'm there at The ivy, I've got my shrimp, Eddie Murphy…

— Louie Anderson

Would you convey my compliments to the purist who reads your proofs and tell him or her that I write in a…

— Raymond Chandler

Everything is on such a clear financial basis in France. It is the simplest country to live in. No one makes things…

— Ernest Hemingway

We must have been hunters and gatherers but some of us were just waiters and hopers.

— Eddie Izzard

Waiters are like hookers, never around when you want them.

— Bernie Ecclestone

I slummed it for years when I was a waiter or delivering Domino's Pizzas.

— Naughty Boy

I never taste the wine first in restaurants, I just ask the waiter to pour.

— Nigella Lawson

“The world can be divided between people who can get a waiter’s attention and those who can’t.”

— Jonathan Carroll

If a guy treats me respectfully and the waiter demeaningly, I'm turned off.

— Moran Atias

It isn't so much what's on the table that matters, as what's on the chairs.

— W. S. Gilbert

If you wait for inspiration to write you're not a writer, you're a waiter.

— Dan Poynter