Someone stole my wallet last week. The guy called me up and he was mad at me. He was like 'you gotta get your finances together. You got no cash, your credit cards are maxed out. You don't even have… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
“I'm a big fan of pastries the size of a baby that contain enough calories for a year. That seems like an effective use of time.” — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
So I went to a club the other day, which is timely because my self esteem had been hovering right around 'normal' and I… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
My writing process is very feedback-based. When I do stand-up, I listen to the audience. I try to understand what's connecting, what's not connecting,… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I've actually always wanted to write like a one-person show that was sort of a romantic comedy - a show that was kind of… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
It's interesting how sleepwalking in a certain way becomes an accumulation of your outside stimuli that's actually there and what's happening in your brain. — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I went to the doctor, and they found something in my bladder. And whenever they find something, it's never anything good like, "We found… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Bears are simultaneously so graceful and so strong. Bears know who they are, but they often don’t know who you are, which is why… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Once you start writing something obsessively, it's almost like someone has to rip it from your hands in order for you to put it… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
When I met my wife, I was a working comic, so the first week we went out, she saw me perform, and it was… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I think because I've been working in front of audiences for so many years, I'm able to take in the input, good or bad,… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Directing your first film is like showing up to the field trip in seventh grade, getting on the bus, and making an announcement, 'So… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
