Toilet Quotes by Peter Kay

I'm not the sort of comedian who wants to make audiences think about politics. I'm not clever in that way.

— Peter Kay

I never wanted to be 'the big I-Am.'

— Peter Kay

I'm a grafter, but all I've ever been is myself.

— Peter Kay

Garlic bread, it's the future, I've tasted it

— Peter Kay

Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?

— Peter Kay

My mum can't watch 'Car Share' - well she does, but she says, 'Peter I can't enjoy it because you're not watching the road.'

— Peter Kay

I am fascinated by real people who are really funny.

— Peter Kay

I was destined to make people laugh.

— Peter Kay

Audiences want comedy that has no venom. They want to have a laugh without it becoming twee.

— Peter Kay

I never thought I'd write one book, let alone three. I'm absolutely delighted and every night, thank the good lord for spell check.

— Peter Kay

It's impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.

— Peter Kay

It's lonely being stuck in a hotel in London for two nights. Even a couple of nights away from the children is awful.

— Peter Kay