Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat? — Peter Kay Copy Share Image
I'm not the sort of comedian who wants to make audiences think about politics. I'm not clever in that way. — Peter Kay Copy Share Image
Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date? — Peter Kay Copy Share Image
My mum can't watch 'Car Share' - well she does, but she says, 'Peter I can't enjoy it because you're not watching the road.' — Peter Kay Copy Share Image
Audiences want comedy that has no venom. They want to have a laugh without it becoming twee. — Peter Kay Copy Share Image
I never thought I'd write one book, let alone three. I'm absolutely delighted and every night, thank the good lord for spell check. — Peter Kay Copy Share Image
It's lonely being stuck in a hotel in London for two nights. Even a couple of nights away from the children is awful. — Peter Kay Copy Share Image
