“I mean, who wants to date a guy who thinks a girl who can't operate a fruit cup is attractive?” — Adam Selzer Copy Share Image
“Go to college. Have a lot of babies. Break a lot of hearts. And realize every minute of it.” — Adam Selzer Copy Share Image
“Whenever I start thinking about death, it always cheers me up to think about my funeral and my tombstone (which, by the way, will… — Adam Selzer Copy Share Image
Wow,” says Peter, “when your guidance counselor tells you to die, you really have problems. — Adam Selzer Copy Share Image
“When a girl turns down your advances, the polite thing to do is just move on.” — Adam Selzer Copy Share Image
Not that anyone minds--no one's paying attention to the music. Most of them never really listen to music. Practically no one actually does. Even… — Adam Selzer Copy Share Image
Some of them are wearing skirts that I'm pretty sure are supposed to be belts. — Adam Selzer Copy Share Image
“I mean, you really can't imagine how awesome coffee tastes, or how awesome it is to hear music, to hear idiots talking... I mean,… — Adam Selzer Copy Share Image
If you really like someone, it doesn't matter what their mouth feels or tastes like. The kiss is still awesome. — Adam Selzer Copy Share Image
“Did you just hit on her by calling her your cousin?" asks Sadie. "'Cause, damn!” — Adam Selzer Copy Share Image
“Isn't it generally known that you have to overlook flaws in people you date, to some extent? I mean, you expect them to overlook… — Adam Selzer Copy Share Image
“There a lot of things I can't do," he says. "With my... health." "Well," I say, "can you kiss girls?” — Adam Selzer Copy Share Image
“I had figured out that it was a bad idea, but, well, it´s hard to argue with love, even when it´s making you do… — Adam Selzer Copy Share Image
