I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
When you think about it, attention-deficit order makes a lot of sense. In this country there isn't a lot worth paying attention… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I don't like to think of laws as rules you have to follow, but more as suggestions. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good Amercian because I like to form my… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I'm thinking of buying a church and changing it around: maybe selling crack and having a few whores in the pew. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I think it would be fair and right to use some of my land and wealth for a drug-rehab center or an… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
We think in language. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I'm not a person who thinks they can have it all, but I certainly feel that with a bit of effort and… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never take credit for anything, because it's mostly genetic to my way of thinking. Even the need to work hard with… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Think of how strange we'd look if all the cuts, burns, scrapes, bruises, scratches, bumps, gashes, and scabs we ever had suddenly… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I think tobacco and alcohol warnings are too general. They should be more to the point: 'People who smoke will eventually cough… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was trying to get out of the night clubs and was thinking maybe I'll go to the colleges now; that's where… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I think we’re part of a greater wisdom that we will ever understand; a higher order, call it what you want. Know… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I think it's important to break taboos for the same reason it's important to break laws and rules - because either you're… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was kind of sweet kid, according my mother, and my recollections. Thoughtful and good, but kind of alone - although I… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
There is nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine ... been here 4 1/2 billion years. We've been here, what,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I love individuals. I think people are terrific as I meet and get to know them. I like imagination. I like the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I sort of gave up on this whole human adventure a long time ago, divorced myself from it emotionally. It gives me… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
When I'm not actually doing my work, I'm planning it or thinking about it or reading things that on some level are… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I think you can talk about anything if the context is correctly arranged. If you set up the context and you bring… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
No, there's no God, but there might be some sort of an organizing intelligence, and I think to understand it is way… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
So about 80 years after the Constitution is ratified, the slaves are freed. Not so you'd really notice it of course; just… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I find that an entertainer is quite content to sit still, and I think an artist always has a little motion, always… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Some people think that words can injure the psyche or the moral fiber. And they really can't. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I hope we're not just human garbage drifting toward a big sewer. But I think so. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Y'ever notice how you never seem to get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it's because all the coats are on the bed. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
People are dreaming if they think they have rights. They've never had rights. There's no such thing. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin' ready to hang himself. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The Class Clown album was done totally sober. I'd realized what a hell I'd made for myself and I cleaned up completely… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I think of myself as an entertainer: I'm a performing entertainer, I'm a stand-up comic. But there's an artist at work here,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share
These days many politicians are demanding change. Just like homeless people. — George Carlin Copy Share
