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Thinking Quotes by David Sedaris

41 Thinking quotes by David Sedaris

All Thinking quotes David Sedaris’s page

The landscape is described as 'pedestrian hostile,' a vivid picture of how Sedaris sees the world. He talks about doing his own laundry and writing every day, turning a forced habit into a part of himself. He also notes that jokes that feel funny to him often get no reaction from others.

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I always think it's a good policy to like the people who like you.

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I'd tried to straighten him out, but there's only so much you can do for a person who thinks Auschwitz is a…

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Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really…

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Usually, if I think something is really funny, it doesn't get any reaction whatsoever.

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This left me alone to solve the coffee problem - a sort of catch-22, as in order to think straight I need…

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I think if you write humor, then people don't - you know - they don't give you that much credit. They tend…

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I just think that the people who say: 'That's not true' when someone tells a story at dinner are the people who…

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I don't worry about being exposed. When I'm writing about myself I think about myself as a character. There is a ton…

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I started writing one afternoon when I was twenty, and ever since then I have written every day. At first I had…

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I spend so much time like living in the past or the future. I mean, I think most people do, really. And…

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You really burden the reader if you put things in but, "Oh, it's not interesting, but I'll put it in anyway." Then…

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I think it's good to have the alone time. Well, I kind of have to, because I have to be alone in…

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She said, “I’m going to have you fired.” I had two people say that to me today, “I’m going to have you…

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All of a sudden, when you're exposed to a large audience, they think you just started writing that day, but I started…

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I mean, I'm always happy if I have, like, humiliating asshole things that I did. I think: Oh good, that's a good…

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I would still be reading out loud. I think that if you are any kind of an artist, then validation is just…

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I think I became a better writer after I started writing for the New Yorker. Well, I know I did. And part…

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I'm not afraid to write about madness. I always figure that whatever most embarrasses you is something that everyone can relate to,…

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When her muzzle grew more white than brown, the chipmunk forgot that she and the squirrel had had nothing to talk about.…

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When someone tell me they illegally downloaded one of my audiobooks I think, Thanks a lot, Pal. When someone tells me they…

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Even as a child I was fascinated by death, not in a spiritual sense, but in an aesthetic one. A hamster or…

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Writing helped to have jobs that involved running around, pushing things like dish carts and wheelbarrows. It would be hard to sit…

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I've never written about sex in my diary. Like if you read my diary, you wouldn't think I'm a virgin, but you…

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When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when…

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Whenever I write about my family, I start by getting my parent's approval. I like to think I write about them with…

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Hugh consoled me, saying, "Don't let it get to you. There are plenty of things you're good at." When asked for some…

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The landscape is best described as 'pedestrian hostile.' It's pointless to try to take a walk, so I generally just stay in…

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I’d always been afraid of sick people, and so had my mother. It wasn’t that we feared catching their brain aneurysm or…

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I wish that I had re-edited 'Theft By Finding' after I did the audio. Because the audio took 40 hours in the…

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I don't think I'm a witty person. To me, a witty person is a funny person who is also a smart person.…

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I started typing diary in, I don't know, 1978 or '79, but then the computer changed that a lot. Because with the…

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I'm so old that when I started keeping a diary they were in actual books, and I think that's one the reasons…

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The difference between writing where you know where to draw the line and writing where you're being way too mean is whether…

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I think it just has to do with getting older and getting better at what it was I was doing, and that…

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Watching him was like opening the door to a siniging telegram; you know it's supposed to be entertaining, but you can't get…

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People discuss their relationships all the time, but you can't. I don't think people realize how harmful that is, how it twists…

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It can take years. With the first draft, I just write everything. With the second draft, it becomes so depressing for me,…

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Now I don't drink, and I get up in the morning and I write in my diary, and I can write in…

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The trouble with aggressive nonsmokers is that they feel they are doing you a favor by not allowing you to smoke. They…

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I've maintained old friendships, like with people I knew in the nineteen-seventies, but have lost the knack for meeting new people. This…

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“never fall asleep in a Dumpster, never underestimate a bee, never drive a convertible behind a flatbed truck, never get old, never get drunk…

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“A Japanese woman we’d met in Paris came to the apartment yesterday and spent several hours explaining our appliances. The microwave, the water kettle,…

One thing I like about the United States, and I kind of miss about the United States, is there's an election coming up here…

When you read comic material and people aren't laughing how do you know they're listening.

“You have how many children in your family?" the teacher would ask. "I'm guessing you must be Catholic, am I right?”

“Like most seasoned phonies, I roundly suspect that everyone is as disingenuous as I am.”

As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts.

“You just take and take don´t you? Out there with your thumb in the air—not a care in the world, just grabbing whatever you…

In other parts of the country people tried to stay together for the sake of the children. In New York they tried to work…

My boyfriend got me a computer three years ago. I'll admit it does make things a lot easier. When I was working on a…

I spent months searching for some secret code before I realized that common sense has nothing to do with it. Hysteria, psychosis, torture, depression:…

I hated leaving a hole in the smoking world, and so I recruited someone to take my place. People have given me a lot…

Write relentlessly, until you find your voice. Then, use it.