Life Quotes by David Sedaris

I just looked at the pattern of my life, decided I didn't like it, and changed.

— David Sedaris

“I had no job at the time and was living off the cruel joke I referred to as my savings.”

— David Sedaris

“To spend your days in the company of naked men - that was the life for me.”

— David Sedaris

“Dad said that the guy who can play guitar is going to be the life of the party. He’s confusing life with…

— David Sedaris

“If nothing else, life in the suburbs promised that you might go from day to day without finding shit in your hair.”

— David Sedaris

It's unrealistic to live your life within such strict parameters.

— David Sedaris

I don't think my life is more interesting than anybody else's.

— David Sedaris

He looked as though his life had not only passed him by but paused along the way to spit in his face.

— David Sedaris

There are certain people in my life who didn't care to be in my book. And so I cut them out. And…

— David Sedaris

“Having spent my life trying to fit the will of others, I was unable to distinguish between what I enjoyed and what…

— David Sedaris

I don't worry about being exposed. When I'm writing about myself I think about myself as a character. There is a ton…

— David Sedaris

Each one of us is left to choose our own quality of life and take pleasure where we find it with the…

— David Sedaris

“The real life of the party is flattened beneath the bed, taping actual sex encounters, not sitting cross-legged on the floor with…

— David Sedaris

Now, I like a church service, but this was one of those write-your-own-vows sorts of things. Neither of them had ever picked…

— David Sedaris

I spend so much time like living in the past or the future. I mean, I think most people do, really. And…

— David Sedaris

I can't promise I'll never kill anyone again," he once said, strapping a refrigerator to his back. "It's unrealistic to live your…

— David Sedaris

“I looked from face to face, exaggerating flaws and reminding myself that these boys did not like me. The hope was that…

— David Sedaris

“Everyone had taken their places, when I excused myself to visit the bathroom, and there, in the toilet, was the absolute biggest…

— David Sedaris

Across town, over in the East Village, the graffiti was calling for the rich to be eaten, imprisoned, or taxed out of…

— David Sedaris

“That's the thing with a diary, though. In order to record your life, you sort of need to live it. Not at…

— David Sedaris

Watching him was like opening the door to a siniging telegram; you know it's supposed to be entertaining, but you can't get…

— David Sedaris

“It’s not lost on me that I’m so busy recording life, I don’t have time to really live it. I’ve become like…

— David Sedaris

“For the first time in memory, I was unable to sleep not because I was anxious but because I was excited. To…

— David Sedaris

“What's wrong?" he said. "I'll tell you what's wrong: you're killing us." "But I thought that's what you wanted?" "We did," my…

— David Sedaris

“For the first twenty years of my life, I rocked myself to sleep. It was a harmless enough hobby, but eventually, I…

— David Sedaris

“Unlike my father, who blindly churned out one canvas after another, I had real ideas about the artistic life. Seated at my…

— David Sedaris

“You’ve got her mad now and there’s no turning back. All she has to do is go to the authorities, saying you…

— David Sedaris

To spend your days in the company of naked men - that was the life for me. 'Turn a bit to the…

— David Sedaris

“I'd Begin to imagine my life in a foreign country, some faraway land where, if things went wrong, i could always blame…

— David Sedaris

My feet are completely flat, but for most of my life they were still shaped like feet. Now, thanks to bunions, they're…

— David Sedaris

“I’d been to only one Walmart in my life before this and I was shocked at how ugly it was, even by…

— David Sedaris

“There was my life before I told a strange woman in a negligee that I was a homosexual, and now there would…

— David Sedaris

Besides, if I wanted to hear people speaking wall-to-wall French, all I had to do was remove my headphones and participate in…

— David Sedaris

Every so often my life will feel like a story. It doesn't have to be a big thing; in fact, most often,…

— David Sedaris

“What if I’d wasted my entire life comparing myself with people who didn’t really matter? Try as I might, I still can’t…

— David Sedaris

When you go to that other country you realize that in France and in England, you don't ask somebody what they do…

— David Sedaris

“My confessions did nothing to alter this situation, but for the first time in my life I felt that somebody actually knew…

— David Sedaris

Living in a foreign country is one of those things that everyone should try at least once. My understanding was that it…

— David Sedaris