Very few people ever meet celebrities. All we really know is what we read about them and the most memorable lines are jokes. That's how we tend to define what we think of a public figure. — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right? — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food. — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately, there's never one around. — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists? — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
What bothers me about TV is that it tends to take our minds off our minds. — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a… — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected. — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it. — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians? — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
I'd like to say a few words about one of the most popular concepts in the modern education--show and tell. Show and Tell is… — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age. — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian. — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
These detective series on TV always end at precisely the right moment-after the criminal is arrested and before the court turns him loose. — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip. — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
