Text Quotes by Alisa Gattus

That awkward moment when you pretend to die in front your siblings and they beat the shit out of you to prove you're alive.

— Alisa Gattus

I have more conversations in my head than I do in real life.

— Alisa Gattus

If breakups never existed the music industry would go bankrupt.

— Alisa Gattus

Dear kindergartens texting on an iPhone, When I was your age, I had to use cups strung together by a string and pretend it…

— Alisa Gattus

Send me a pic never fails to ruin a conversation.

— Alisa Gattus

Message sent failed. Would you like to retry? Well, OBVIOUSLY, I was sending it for a reason.

— Alisa Gattus

Shortest horror story: Today is Monday

— Alisa Gattus

Turn your phone off, Yeah no... I'll just put it on silent.

— Alisa Gattus

Just because you're attractive doesn't mean you're my type.

— Alisa Gattus

That's nice honey. Grandma's version of cool story bro.

— Alisa Gattus

Motivational status of the day: Don't be a douche.

— Alisa Gattus

MTV has gone from Music Television to Maternity Television.

— Alisa Gattus

Girl: Truth or dare? Boy: Dare. Girl: I dare you to love me. Boy: No babe, that's truth. ¥

— Alisa Gattus

Sharks aren't the bad guys. If some stranger entered my house in just a Speedo, I would attack him too..

— Alisa Gattus

Instead of saying LOL, I'm gonna say SALTS (Smiled A Little Then Stopped) It's more truthful.

— Alisa Gattus